ADDICTED TO SWEETNESS! TAYLOR LIVE: YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! CAN NOT GET ENOUGH!

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Kind: captions
Language: en

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Let me know when we're starting.


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We're on. We're on. Now you have to give


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me a countdown.


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Okay. So, welcome to pick a topic. Good


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morning. Okay. Welcome. Ah, countdown.


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Ah, this Bobby. Okay. Look. Insults. I


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love it more than anything in the world.


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I love to insult my kids, my wife. It's


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fun, right? Okay. We're going to learn


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all about insults. People say, "Oh,


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well, I'm not funny or I can't be." Can


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you raise my just a little bit? A little


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bit more. I can't be funny. Oh, perfect.


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Oh, I love it. You can be funny. I'm


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going to teach you the steps of insults,


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how to do it, how I did it. You saw my


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insult short where I insulted Bobby, the


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monologue of death. That was great,


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right? I can do that unlimited. Oh, I


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have to shut that off.


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It's unlimited insults that you can do.


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Just follow the steps I provide. Anyone


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can do it. Now, remember the number one


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thing, you have to practice it. I've


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been doing insults since I was 14. The


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first recorded insult I told I was 14


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years old. And I told it to my dad. It's


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recorded in a video and he's been dead


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30 years. And I forgot what he sounded


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like because I was young when he died.


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It's been 30 years. So I watched a video


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that my cousin sent me two years ago. I


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just, oh my god, that's how my dad


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sounded kind of like me. And we're


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sitting there. I'm 14 and uh we're on


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vacation, just me and him. And then he


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was interrogating me and I said, "What


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are you, Barbara Walters?" And I


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thought, "Oh [ __ ] that's a good one."


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And Barbara Walters, for those who don't


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know, back then was like the number one


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interview person in the world. She was


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like the Michael Jordan of interviewers.


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M Barbara Walters was huge. And I'm


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like, "What are you, Barbara Walters?"


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And I thought for a 14-year-old, I was a


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natural. That's before Don Rickles,


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before I saw any of that, before


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YouTube, before internet. So, I just


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threw it out there. And I'm like, "Oh,


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wow. That was good." But you don't have


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to be a natural. You will learn how to


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do it step by step. I'll take you


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through the fundamentals and the basics


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and you'll learn. So I always go through


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what is the most important thing for a


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joke, for a story, for writing a script,


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for a movie, a screenplay, for writing a


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script, for a TV, tell a play. What is


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the most important thing for flirting?


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The most important thing for a flirt. So


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what is the most important thing for


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insult? Easy. Same thing as a joke or a


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story. The most important thing for a


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story to make a story really great and


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make a joke really great. And the more


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you have of it, the better the joke. The


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more you have of this what's I'm going


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to tell you, the better the story. When


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you watch a story and it doesn't have


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conflict,


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it's boring. If there's no conflict in a


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joke, no implied conflict, it's not a


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good joke. It's got to have conflict.


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The more conflict the better. So just


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like insult conflict. So there has to be


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conflict. But with a insult there are


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requirements for insult. When you watch


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a a roast on Netflix most of it's not


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funny. You don't really like it. How


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come? They're famous people,


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celebrities, stars. You watch them


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playing football, rapping, all that. And


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you don't like it. Why? Why is it you


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have professional writers writing the


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comedy? Why don't you like the roast?


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Because


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they don't have the requirements of a


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good insult, which I'm going to teach


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right now to tell a insult properly and


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for it to be funny and universally


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accepted like my insult short where I


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insulted Bobby in the monologue of


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death. Everyone [ __ ] loved it. Young,


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old, rich, poor, everyone loved it. Why?


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I was so rude to him. Why was it so


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good?


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>> Go ahead. I got a shadow on me. But


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don't make it dark.


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Sure.


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Okay. But I'm not dark, right? I look


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good. But you know, I can still see. Oh,


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now you took it away. Okay, perfect.


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Just don't make it dark now.


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Okay,


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so the reason why you're watching a


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roast on Netflix and you're not really


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enjoying it and you have Kevin Hart, all


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these people doing insults and it's


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[ __ ] not good and people are


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complaining about it, people are talking


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about it like the roast is not good.


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Have a seat. You're making me nervous


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like you're going to rob me or


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something, which I know you're not.


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You're super white. You're not going to


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rob me, but I'm not going to bring those


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gang members here because remember how


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you were talking? You said [ __ ] three


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times in a row and you start saying


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you're not a snitch and all that.


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Respect. You have a little thug in you.


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I like that. Okay. But you're super


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white. I'm not not worried. Okay. So,


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the reason why the roast is not good and


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you're watching it on Netflix and


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professional writers are writing like


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why is the roast not good? Because


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the comedy writers are not insult


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comics. They're not Don Rickles. They're


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not Tony Rockman. They don't know what


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you're about to find out. They can know


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now. That's fine because Michael Jordan


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can teach you how to play basketball and


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you're going to learn how to play


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basketball real good if Jordan teaches


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you. You'll learn the basics. You'll be


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a great player, but you'll never be


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Michael Jordan because that's his


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fingerprint. You'll never stick your


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tongue out. You'll never have the


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gestures and the movements of Michael


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Jordan. That's unique to him. You cannot


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duplicate it. But that's okay. You'll


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never duplicate Tony Rockman. But you


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don't want to. You want to be yourself.


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You want to do the insult the way you do


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it, the way I'm teaching you to do it,


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and then you're yourself doing it. Okay.


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The reason why the roast is not good,


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usually you don't enjoy it, is because


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it does not have, first of all, the


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insult has to be clean.


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No dirty language.


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It cannot be disgusting. It cannot be


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vulgar. And you're like, Tony, you're


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always talking coochie and you're always


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Yes, because I'm talking on the table.


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On the table or a podcast with a guest,


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you can talk coochie all day long. If I


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have a UNLV player who slept with a


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hundred girls in a week, we're talking


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about [ __ ] right? Depends on who's


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sitting in front of me. It's on the


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table. That's fine. That's different


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than when you meet someone on the street


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and you're insulting them or I'm


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insulting a a work associate here in my


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work environment. We're not going to be


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vulgar. A roast if they're vulgar,


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dirty, curse words, not funny. So the


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requirements of a insult, first of all,


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you have to have conflict like a joke or


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a story cannot be has to be goodnatured


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from the heart. Has to be clean. Now, it


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has to be like a joke. It has to be with


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a twist. Okay? So, a joke like I I flirt


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with someone. I flirt with a beautiful


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girl. Look at her tattoos. That tattoo's


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on the back. Oh, Jesus. I just want to


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lick. Oh, God. This my wife. I hope


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she's not watching. Sleeping now. We


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don't have to worry until later. She'll


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watch a rerun. Is Tony.


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Okay. I'm flirting with a girl. So, what


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do I want to do when I flirt? I want to


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catch them by surprise. I want to


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surprise the receiver of the flirt. I


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don't want to catch her offguard, give


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her a punchline. I want to surprise her,


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pleasantly surprise her with the flirt.


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So, the receiver of the flirt is


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surprised. The bigger the surprise, the


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better the flirt. With a joke, you don't


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want to surprise. You're not surprising


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Tony Rockman's not surprising anyone.


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I'm coming to Bobby and I'm telling


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Bobby a joke. He's not surprised by Tony


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Rockman. He knows Tony Rockman is going


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to say some crazy [ __ ] right? Okay. So,


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there's no surprise at all. You have


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Jesse James walking to a bank. There's


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no surprise what Jesse James is going to


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do, right? He's going to rob the bank.


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So, I'm not trying to surprise anyone.


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I'm trying to catch Bobby offguard. I'm


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insulting someone. I want to catch him


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off guard. Like a joke. I want to give a


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twist, but a different kind of twist


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than a joke. I'll explain it all. So,


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another requirement that they don't know


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on Netflix, I'm going to teach them for


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[ __ ] free. It's okay because I'm the


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Michael Jordan of insults. They can take


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it. Pen and Teller shows you how to do a


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magic trick. They show the audience.


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Every show they have, they show the


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audience how to do the magic trick. Why


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do they do that? Why did they give away


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their magic? Pen and Teller knows the


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audience, people are not going to be


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able to duplicate their trick. They can


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show them tricks all day long exactly


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how they did the trick, which they do.


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That's part of their act. They know that


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no one is going to do their trick like


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they do or at all. It's going to take a


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professional magician to maybe duplicate


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Pen and Teller's trick and only then


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after practicing and so forth. So,


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Michael Jordan can teach you basketball.


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Pen and Teller can show you how they did


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their trick, but I can show you insults.


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You're never going to insult like me.


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But you're going to learn how to do it


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properly, how to do it clean,


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goodnatured. I'll show you all the steps


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and you will be able to do it. And with


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practice, you'll be like, "Oh, fuck."


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People are going to be laughing. You're


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going to enjoy yourself. It's going to


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be so rewarding to insult people in a


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good way. And the one who laughs the


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most is the receiver of the insult.


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That's how you know you're doing a good


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job. So, when you insult someone and


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they enjoy it, if you watch my Costco


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shorts where I'm insulting people, I'm


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in front of Costco, I'm insulting the


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old guy, I'm insulting the the workers,


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I'm insulting people coming out of


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Costco, the people who laugh the most


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immediately, as you see in the Costco


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shorts that I have on my channel, or the


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people I insult. When I a guy comes out


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of Costco, I tell him I imply he's an


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accountant. He's laughing. I talk about


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some guy's wife. The husband is


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laughing. Why are they laughing? Because


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immediately, what do they recognize?


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They recognize the insult is


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good-natured. I'm not trying to insult


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them in a bad way. They know it's funny.


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They can feel that it's funny. And what


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is the most important thing of insults?


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Are you checking me out? Do I look good?


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Yeah, I'm not not dark. Good.


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is they have to just like in sales.


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What's the number one thing in sales? I


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have a customer come up to me. What do I


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want them to how do I want to approach a


00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:52.389
customer when I'm doing sales? I'm a


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salesman. I have to remember that I have


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to befriend them. They have to like me.


00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:01.590
In order for them to buy my product, the


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customer has to like me. You getting


00:12:03.920 --> 00:12:07.910
this, Bobby? This is good [ __ ] So just


00:12:07.920 --> 00:12:10.069
like the receiver of insult, they have


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to like me.


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And if I go to my neighbor Henry, he


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[ __ ] hates me. So he's got I always


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tell him, man, I always insult him in a


00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:23.509
bad way. So he doesn't like me. He


00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:25.750
hasn't liked me for years. I can tell


00:12:25.760 --> 00:12:28.069
him the funniest insult in the world


00:12:28.079 --> 00:12:30.069
that hundreds of thousands of people


00:12:30.079 --> 00:12:32.629
just laughed at on YouTube and he will


00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:36.470
not laugh at all because he doesn't like


00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.910
me. He hates me. So, and I don't really


00:12:39.920 --> 00:12:42.230
care about him. But that's the whole


00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:45.030
point. Everything good?


00:12:45.040 --> 00:12:48.870
Okay. So, how do you know if someone you


00:12:48.880 --> 00:12:52.150
just met likes you? is just like a girl


00:12:52.160 --> 00:12:54.629
at the gym or a girl at the restaurant.


00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:56.310
Within


00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:59.269
half of one second, that girl knows if


00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:02.230
if you're [ __ ] So, just by looking


00:13:02.240 --> 00:13:05.990
at you, the girl knows if she would [ __ ]


00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.550
you or not. Immediately, she knows if


00:13:08.560 --> 00:13:11.110
you're that type of person. When you


00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.430
look at a girl or whoever you're


00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:15.509
attracted to, a guy, whoever you're


00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:17.590
attracted to, you look at them, you


00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:19.910
immediately know if you can have a


00:13:19.920 --> 00:13:21.670
relationship with them or if they're


00:13:21.680 --> 00:13:24.150
you're attracted to them, right, Bobby?


00:13:24.160 --> 00:13:27.030
Right away. Immediately. That's exactly


00:13:27.040 --> 00:13:30.150
how when I go up to someone at Costco or


00:13:30.160 --> 00:13:32.389
I go up to someone anywhere and I want


00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:35.030
to insult them. What are you doing on


00:13:35.040 --> 00:13:37.269
your phone? So distracting. You're doing


00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:39.030
my thing.


00:13:39.040 --> 00:13:40.790
Oh, dude. Don't go on the phone when I'm


00:13:40.800 --> 00:13:42.710
doing my my show. Don't do I thought you


00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:48.389
were doing my my stuff.


00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:49.590
Yeah, but you know it's going to just


00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:50.870
distract me if you're doing other


00:13:50.880 --> 00:13:53.430
things. Please. Please. I have to


00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:55.430
concentrate. You see, this is not easy.


00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:56.790
This is not easy. I have to do this


00:13:56.800 --> 00:14:01.030
stuff. Please.


00:14:01.040 --> 00:14:03.030
I got rid of Tommy. I'm halfway there.


00:14:03.040 --> 00:14:04.710
But I can't get rid of Bobby. I [ __ ]


00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:07.910
love, right? But I don't know if I can


00:14:07.920 --> 00:14:09.670
look at them the rest of my life. Oh,


00:14:09.680 --> 00:14:12.629
hard. See right there? That wasn't great


00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:14.550
because there was tension. You don't


00:14:14.560 --> 00:14:17.189
want tension when you go up to someone


00:14:17.199 --> 00:14:20.550
and right away you know right away you


00:14:20.560 --> 00:14:23.430
can feel if they like you, if you like


00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:26.150
them, if there's any kind of tension


00:14:26.160 --> 00:14:28.069
like we just had, which is all


00:14:28.079 --> 00:14:31.750
completely his fault, obviously. Um, see


00:14:31.760 --> 00:14:33.990
that was a good one, too. So, you see


00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.230
how I did that? There's always a grain


00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:39.110
and truth in the insult, but it's not


00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:41.430
malicious at the same time. It's clean.


00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:43.990
You notice it's not vulgar. It's not


00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.069
going anywhere. It's not malicious. It's


00:14:46.079 --> 00:14:49.030
goodhearted. It's goodnatured.


00:14:49.040 --> 00:14:50.550
It's still on its phone. You're on the


00:14:50.560 --> 00:14:51.750
Show me. Show me your phone right now.


00:14:51.760 --> 00:14:53.750
Show me your phone.


00:14:53.760 --> 00:14:58.310
That's so good. Okay. So, when I see


00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:00.230
someone on the on the street in front of


00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:02.310
Costco, I'm doing my show. I want to


00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:04.470
insult people.


00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:06.389
Tell me.


00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:08.550
>> Okay. So,


00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:10.310
>> no, you don't have to like lean forward.


00:15:10.320 --> 00:15:11.670
You can just relax in the chair. That's


00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:13.189
why I got you a nice cushion, nice


00:15:13.199 --> 00:15:15.110
island chair. Just relax there. But just


00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:16.790
don't do other stuff because this is the


00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:17.910
most important thing we're doing right


00:15:17.920 --> 00:15:20.550
now, right? Okay, this is very


00:15:20.560 --> 00:15:21.750
important. People want to learn this


00:15:21.760 --> 00:15:25.750
[ __ ] Okay, so I see someone and I want


00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:27.269
to insult him because that's what I'm


00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:29.430
there for. I'm there to do a show and


00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:31.350
I'm in front of Costco, at the mall,


00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.670
wherever I am, and we're filming. If I


00:15:33.680 --> 00:15:35.750
see someone, I immediately know if I'm


00:15:35.760 --> 00:15:37.910
going to insult them or not. Because if


00:15:37.920 --> 00:15:40.470
they seem standoffish, if they seem


00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.790
mean, if they seem like they're having a


00:15:42.800 --> 00:15:44.870
bad day, if they're frowning, if they


00:15:44.880 --> 00:15:46.389
look mad, if they look like they just


00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:48.870
had a fight with their girlfriend, I'm


00:15:48.880 --> 00:15:51.030
not going to insult them because I know


00:15:51.040 --> 00:15:53.910
they're not in a position to receive my


00:15:53.920 --> 00:15:55.670
insult. They're not in a position to


00:15:55.680 --> 00:15:58.069
receive my humor. So, I'll leave them.


00:15:58.079 --> 00:16:00.550
They're kind of like a quasi Henry.


00:16:00.560 --> 00:16:02.949
Okay? They have to be open. The receiver


00:16:02.959 --> 00:16:05.509
has to be open to the insult. Many times


00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:08.550
I insult Bobby and he's not open to the


00:16:08.560 --> 00:16:10.310
insult. He's not ready to receive an


00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:12.790
insult. That's why like he won't laugh.


00:16:12.800 --> 00:16:15.430
He won't like it. Not because it's not


00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:17.749
good because people watching will laugh


00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:19.749
because he's not ready to receive it.


00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:21.430
And I give it to him anyway because he


00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:22.629
deserved that one. He was doing


00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:25.670
something else right now. So, but that's


00:16:25.680 --> 00:16:27.509
the whole point. The person has to be


00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:29.590
able to receive it. So, I've been doing


00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:31.110
this for a long time. I could do it left


00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:32.949
and right, but you have to practice it.


00:16:32.959 --> 00:16:34.710
So, when you see someone and you see


00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:36.949
they're standoffish, they're not happy,


00:16:36.959 --> 00:16:40.069
they don't look happy, please don't


00:16:40.079 --> 00:16:43.030
insult them. For example, like I had to


00:16:43.040 --> 00:16:45.910
get rid of Tommy, right? And it's okay


00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:48.069
if I talk about Tommy. Yeah, this is


00:16:48.079 --> 00:16:49.430
this show is about just talking about


00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:51.829
people. Nobody knows Tommy. So, he came


00:16:51.839 --> 00:16:53.670
to work. He was miserable. He was so


00:16:53.680 --> 00:16:55.910
unhappy. Was he trying to make me


00:16:55.920 --> 00:17:03.030
unhappy? That's my wife's job.


00:17:03.040 --> 00:17:05.110
Did you hear the punch line right now?


00:17:05.120 --> 00:17:08.710
I'm trying to do the show. Okay. So, um,


00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:11.270
so what I did right now, I set it up. I


00:17:11.280 --> 00:17:13.270
talked about Tommy. I talked about


00:17:13.280 --> 00:17:14.949
getting rid of Tommy. He was miserable.


00:17:14.959 --> 00:17:16.630
He wasn't happy. Was he trying to make


00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:19.429
me unhappy? That's my wife's job. So,


00:17:19.439 --> 00:17:21.510
what did I do right there? That's a wife


00:17:21.520 --> 00:17:24.309
joke. Now, I can throw it on me and I


00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:26.549
can I can make fun of myself. Some of


00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:29.510
the best insults is when you


00:17:29.520 --> 00:17:32.070
No, I didn't. I did. I didn't do that. I


00:17:32.080 --> 00:17:33.430
thought you would handle it for me


00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:34.710
because you're an extension of my


00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:36.310
studio, right? Of the show, of the


00:17:36.320 --> 00:17:39.190
production.


00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.190
>> I didn't fire him. He fired himself. He


00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.270
said he didn't want to do a task. So,


00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:44.789
it's a simple task. I wanted him to


00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:48.230
change music on a 20 second short. Okay?


00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:50.470
Something that's a no-brainer. Not like


00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:53.590
a Titanic or a movie or a two-hour. a 20


00:17:53.600 --> 00:17:59.270
second short.


00:17:59.280 --> 00:18:01.830
>> I wasn't his partner. He was going to be


00:18:01.840 --> 00:18:03.190
profit sharing. Then he shouldn't have


00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:04.630
been rude to me. He shouldn't have been


00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:07.110
disrespectful for to me. Many times he


00:18:07.120 --> 00:18:10.150
was many times. He was very rude. You're


00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.070
ruining the show, but I like it. Keep


00:18:12.080 --> 00:18:15.750
going. So, um, yeah, he he had as


00:18:15.760 --> 00:18:18.310
accommodating as I was, you never you


00:18:18.320 --> 00:18:20.070
never bite the hand that feeds you.


00:18:20.080 --> 00:18:22.230
Literally, I fed him. And I didn't have


00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:24.549
to. I wanted his morale to be high. I


00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:26.549
wanted him to be happy. But he just was


00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:29.510
not happy. He was not happy here. It was


00:18:29.520 --> 00:18:31.430
not a good work environment for him or


00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:33.990
for me. So why continue with that when


00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.830
you know that someone doesn't want to


00:18:35.840 --> 00:18:37.270
work with you? Someone doesn't want to


00:18:37.280 --> 00:18:39.669
do the most simple task and it's task


00:18:39.679 --> 00:18:41.750
that's very important for the channel


00:18:41.760 --> 00:18:43.350
where we don't want to use other


00:18:43.360 --> 00:18:45.350
people's copyrighted [ __ ] unless we


00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:47.270
absolutely have to. So we're going to


00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:49.909
continue doing that until we monetize.


00:18:49.919 --> 00:18:52.070
But until then, I didn't even have to. I


00:18:52.080 --> 00:18:53.510
shouldn't have had to even explain that


00:18:53.520 --> 00:18:55.190
to him. He should have been on the same


00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:56.390
page with me and should have been like,


00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:57.510
"Yeah, you're right. Let's just take


00:18:57.520 --> 00:18:59.350
that [ __ ] off because we don't need it.


00:18:59.360 --> 00:19:00.950
We already got out of the trailer what


00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:03.190
we needed. We got the subscribers. We


00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.110
got the likes." There was no reason to


00:19:05.120 --> 00:19:08.150
have that. It's just a a flag. It's a


00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:10.230
pattern on the algorithm that's going to


00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:11.990
build up. It's a history that we're


00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:13.990
building up. That's bad. I'm not telling


00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:15.669
you a joke. Why are you laughing? He's


00:19:15.679 --> 00:19:17.110
your friend. Is it gonna is it gonna


00:19:17.120 --> 00:19:19.110
bother you now from now on? Is it going


00:19:19.120 --> 00:19:22.150
to be something that is is going to be


00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.310
uh a problem for you to be on the show


00:19:24.320 --> 00:19:28.950
without your friend?


00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:30.950
No. Because he was not respectful for to


00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:32.549
me. So why should I be respectful to


00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:35.190
him? Yeah. Because you know what? As


00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:37.510
nice as I was, I could not have been


00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:39.590
nicer except maybe massaging his back


00:19:39.600 --> 00:19:41.270
while he's working. That's only the only


00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:42.789
way I could have been nicer than I


00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:45.190
already was. You know, as nice as I was,


00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.190
as accommodating as I was, I didn't even


00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:49.510
tell you. When we did our film, you


00:19:49.520 --> 00:19:51.270
know, he's the camera person. He should


00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:53.029
be, and this is for you, too. You should


00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:54.789
be a fly on the wall. You think the


00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:56.230
camera guy told Charlie Chaplan,


00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:58.870
"Charlie, I want to let me talk to this


00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:01.350
one. Let me tell you, they wouldn't even


00:20:01.360 --> 00:20:03.510
dare talk to Charlie Chaplan. The camera


00:20:03.520 --> 00:20:06.310
guy is a fly in the wall." So, he would


00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:08.150
tell me when we're filming in a park,


00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:09.990
the nearest house was like literally a


00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:11.750
thousand feet away. And there just a


00:20:11.760 --> 00:20:13.669
bunch of old people in the morning, you


00:20:13.679 --> 00:20:15.350
know, who are in their houses and


00:20:15.360 --> 00:20:17.270
literally the houses are like a thousand


00:20:17.280 --> 00:20:19.510
feet away. He's like, "So I'm trying to


00:20:19.520 --> 00:20:22.230
act and you're a camera guy, right?" So


00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:24.789
the camera guy does not want to hinder


00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:26.549
the art, does not want to hinder the


00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:28.549
actor. So he was telling me, "Oh, no,


00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.390
no, no. Don't raise your voice." I'm


00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:33.270
like, "What the fuck?" So he didn't want


00:20:33.280 --> 00:20:35.590
me to act. So I I even suppressed my


00:20:35.600 --> 00:20:37.190
acting. I brought it down. I counted I


00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:38.870
count I brought it down three notches


00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:42.310
for him. my acting I saw in the when I


00:20:42.320 --> 00:20:45.270
looked over the film it was not what it


00:20:45.280 --> 00:20:47.669
should have been because I accommodate


00:20:47.679 --> 00:20:49.990
accommodated him because he he didn't


00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.029
feel comfortable with me uh doing my


00:20:53.039 --> 00:20:55.990
acting the way I wanted to do the acting


00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:57.510
what what was going to happen what was


00:20:57.520 --> 00:20:58.950
going to happen I told him what's going


00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:00.870
to happen or they're going to call the


00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:03.750
cops okay first of all the cops are not


00:21:03.760 --> 00:21:05.830
going to come it's LA second of all the


00:21:05.840 --> 00:21:07.990
cops come just like those people walking


00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.789
by are you guys. Okay? Like, yeah, we're


00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:12.950
filming. They smiled. They Oh, great.


00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:14.870
Fine. So, the cops would have been I


00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:16.149
would have been like, "We're filming for


00:21:16.159 --> 00:21:17.750
YouTube. We're doing a film. We'll be


00:21:17.760 --> 00:21:19.110
right out of here." Oh, you want us to


00:21:19.120 --> 00:21:22.789
leave now? No problem. He was so scared


00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:25.750
of his own shadow, so skittish. You


00:21:25.760 --> 00:21:28.390
don't I don't think he he can work


00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:30.149
directly with an artist, especially


00:21:30.159 --> 00:21:32.470
someone who's pushing the envelope, you


00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:34.230
know, or not a comic who's pushing the


00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:35.750
envelope. I don't think it can work


00:21:35.760 --> 00:21:37.990
directly with a comic at all because he


00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:41.110
has he was able to recognize humor very


00:21:41.120 --> 00:21:43.029
well because he cut the shorts fairly


00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:47.029
well. So he recognized humor. So he was


00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:49.590
able to do the job in that way. But he


00:21:49.600 --> 00:21:51.270
himself


00:21:51.280 --> 00:21:53.350
didn't really display a sense of humor


00:21:53.360 --> 00:21:58.230
in 3 months he was here at all. Zero 0.0


00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:00.789
if not under zero. I don't know why that


00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:04.149
is but you know he smiled. I counted


00:22:04.159 --> 00:22:06.390
three times in 3 months and that's just


00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:08.630
when he was leaving. That's just when he


00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.549
was leaving and going. So anyway, so I


00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:14.710
tried really hard but it was not to be


00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:15.909
because if you're not going to do a


00:22:15.919 --> 00:22:18.310
simple task that's good for the show,


00:22:18.320 --> 00:22:19.909
good for the channel and if you're going


00:22:19.919 --> 00:22:21.510
to tell the artist. So you know what I


00:22:21.520 --> 00:22:23.909
had to do, Bobby? I had to because he


00:22:23.919 --> 00:22:26.149
didn't want me to express myself as an


00:22:26.159 --> 00:22:28.070
artist and act the way I wanted to act


00:22:28.080 --> 00:22:32.710
in the role. So, I had to uh zip my


00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:35.430
hoodie, the hobo hoodie, all the way up


00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.789
to my neck so people couldn't see that


00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.430
I'm quiet because you know when you're


00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:43.510
yelling or you're you're stressing out,


00:22:43.520 --> 00:22:46.470
you have your uh cords going, right? So,


00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.630
I had to zip it all the way. So, he did


00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:50.390
a close-up on me when I'm holding the


00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:52.710
baby. So, you can see there's nothing


00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:54.950
going on here. I was silent when I was


00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:58.310
doing it. I should not have accommodated


00:22:58.320 --> 00:23:03.110
the camera guy and hindered my acting.


00:23:03.120 --> 00:23:04.870
That wasn't going to last. That was not


00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:07.909
sustainable. I cannot act like that, you


00:23:07.919 --> 00:23:10.230
know, and nobody would would put up with


00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:14.070
that. Nobody. It was wrong. So, I think


00:23:14.080 --> 00:23:16.789
what happened was that I was too


00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:19.029
accommodating. I was You're taking me


00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.710
away from the show, but it's okay.


00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:23.669
There's timestamps and [ __ ] So, um I


00:23:23.679 --> 00:23:25.350
was too nice. And when you're too nice


00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:27.990
with someone, they sometimes feel like


00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:29.909
they can take advantage. Kind of like


00:23:29.919 --> 00:23:32.070
the handyman come here, they want to fix


00:23:32.080 --> 00:23:34.390
the masonry wall and you buy them


00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:36.310
lunchor


00:23:36.320 --> 00:23:38.630
Coca-Cola. They want and then every day


00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:41.430
you got to buy them that [ __ ] right? So


00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:42.710
I'm not talking about you. I'm talking


00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:44.470
about the handy people. Because you


00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:47.750
guys, you're part of my show. I love to


00:23:47.760 --> 00:23:50.710
do that because you're like part of part


00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:53.830
of me, part of what we do. But you are


00:23:53.840 --> 00:23:57.270
not rude. You're respectful. You do your


00:23:57.280 --> 00:23:59.990
job. You know what you got to do. Yes.


00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:01.990
You know, uh, sometimes there's no


00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:03.830
subscriber button. That's like me doing


00:24:03.840 --> 00:24:05.510
a joke without a punchline, which I


00:24:05.520 --> 00:24:07.029
would never do. Nobody has to tell me to


00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:09.590
do a punchline, but you're getting it.


00:24:09.600 --> 00:24:11.990
So, I don't I don't blame you for that


00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:14.470
because in film school, you do cinema.


00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:18.390
You don't do comedy shorts. So, like you


00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:20.230
said, day one, you're going to learn.


00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:21.669
You got to learn. But, you know, it's


00:24:21.679 --> 00:24:23.029
been 3 months, so you got to really pick


00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:25.029
it up and you got to get there. Uh, and


00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:27.029
I know you will. I I have hope. You


00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.870
know, my people walked in the desert for


00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:31.510
40 years with chickens and and cows and


00:24:31.520 --> 00:24:32.789
[ __ ] 40 years trying to find their


00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.390
homeland. I can at least do a few more


00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:36.149
weeks with you, hoping that you're going


00:24:36.159 --> 00:24:39.269
to get it. See, that was good, right?


00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:41.350
You see how I did that? Okay. Can I get


00:24:41.360 --> 00:24:43.029
back to showing people how to do insults


00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:47.350
so we can talk about Tommy later? So,


00:24:47.360 --> 00:24:49.269
so


00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:51.590
poor guy. He's going to be fine. He's a


00:24:51.600 --> 00:24:53.750
young guy. He's a college grad. I don't


00:24:53.760 --> 00:24:55.669
think he can work with a comic or not a


00:24:55.679 --> 00:24:58.230
comic that's really crazy like me, you


00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.950
know? And telling an actor to keep it


00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:03.430
down. Would you tell the actor to keep


00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:05.830
it down during his role while the actor


00:25:05.840 --> 00:25:08.230
What the [ __ ] man? And you're not like


00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:09.990
in the neighborhood, you know, in this


00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:11.590
neighborhood, you know, there's houses


00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:13.269
all around, small houses, there's


00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:15.269
babies. This is like a park and the


00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.909
nearest house is so far as Calabasas,


00:25:17.919 --> 00:25:20.789
man. This is Calabasas. What was he


00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:22.630
afraid of? He's not black. He's not, you


00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:23.830
know, he doesn't have to worry about


00:25:23.840 --> 00:25:25.909
that kind of stuff, right? And he's got


00:25:25.919 --> 00:25:28.549
beautiful long hair and nice, right?


00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:30.230
Every time he went to the bathroom, like


00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.230
there was long hairs all over my toilets


00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:34.390
and [ __ ] I got to worry about the dog


00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:37.430
hair, my kids, my wife's hair, Tommy's


00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:39.909
hair. Okay, he's gone. Okay, it's not


00:25:39.919 --> 00:25:41.350
going to be a problem for you, right?


00:25:41.360 --> 00:25:44.310
Fantastic. Okay. You see, I'm


00:25:44.320 --> 00:25:47.590
professional. I just I'm I'm a team


00:25:47.600 --> 00:25:52.630
player. Okay. So, where are you?


00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:54.310
The phone's on me, right? Let me Let me


00:25:54.320 --> 00:25:55.750
see. Let me see. Quick. Quick. Show me


00:25:55.760 --> 00:25:58.789
the phone. Show me the phone.


00:25:58.799 --> 00:26:07.190
What's on the bottom? Pokemon.


00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:09.669
Okay. Look, I'm going to pretend Bobb's


00:26:09.679 --> 00:26:12.470
not here. Okay, Bobby, if there's any


00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:14.470
other questions you have or any other


00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:19.029
inquiries.


00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:21.190
No, it's okay. We could You don't have


00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.909
ADD and all that stuff. No, it's okay.


00:26:23.919 --> 00:26:25.909
We can address it now because you know


00:26:25.919 --> 00:26:30.230
what? One of the shows I want to do.


00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:33.990
No, I say when we go back, hold on. So,


00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:35.590
one of the things I want to do is a


00:26:35.600 --> 00:26:39.350
meeting with my editor, videographer, a


00:26:39.360 --> 00:26:41.430
meeting of strategy, uh, channel


00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:44.390
strategy. So, if you notice, no channel


00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:47.590
on YouTube, no YouTube show has like


00:26:47.600 --> 00:26:49.350
behind the scenes strategy. And people


00:26:49.360 --> 00:26:50.950
like the behind the scenes of the films


00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:53.110
we did. So, behind the scenes of our


00:26:53.120 --> 00:26:54.630
channel strategy, how we're going to


00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:56.470
monetize, what we're going to do. I


00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:57.990
think that would be interesting to film,


00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.990
too. For audio, it would be a big thing,


00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.149
too. So, channel strategy. You like


00:27:02.159 --> 00:27:04.549
that? See, I come up with all the ideas,


00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:05.990
but it's okay. I like to have them


00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:10.630
around. Okay. Um, so now, how do you


00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:12.789
compare to jokes and stories? Story you


00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:14.950
have to have conflict. Conflict is the


00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:17.350
engine of the story. It makes the story


00:27:17.360 --> 00:27:21.029
go forward. So with jokes, the conflict


00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:22.950
is the bedrock. Remember I gave the


00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:25.029
example of a house has to be built on


00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:27.430
concrete. Has to be great foundation so


00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:29.350
you can build a beautiful house which


00:27:29.360 --> 00:27:32.230
will last. So the concrete has to be


00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.190
strong. The bedrock of a joke has to be


00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.350
strong. The conflict has to be the


00:27:37.360 --> 00:27:40.710
bedrock of a joke. A conflict has to be


00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:43.830
the engine of a story making it go


00:27:43.840 --> 00:27:47.669
forward. With insult, the conflict has


00:27:47.679 --> 00:27:51.669
to be the liquid gel that's surrounding


00:27:51.679 --> 00:27:53.669
the insult. The insult is like a turkey


00:27:53.679 --> 00:27:56.710
bone. Okay? It's surrounded by liquid


00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:00.070
gel. And the liquid gel is all the


00:28:00.080 --> 00:28:02.630
conflict. You have to saturate saturate


00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:05.750
that turkey bone. But remember, insult


00:28:05.760 --> 00:28:09.350
can be offensive. A insult can be rude.


00:28:09.360 --> 00:28:11.590
You could be extra rude. It could be


00:28:11.600 --> 00:28:15.110
rude to a stranger as long as it's


00:28:15.120 --> 00:28:18.470
funny. It could be not funny to someone


00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:20.470
receiving it because he's not open to


00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:22.470
receive an insult. It's early in the


00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:24.710
morning. He's mourning his friend not


00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:26.549
working on the show anymore. Wondering


00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:28.389
why I didn't call the [ __ ] cuz


00:28:28.399 --> 00:28:30.710
he was so rude to me. I don't feel I


00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:32.870
should even call him. You know what? He


00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:34.870
never watched the show. In 3 months he


00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:36.950
was here. How many times did he like any


00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:39.909
program? The programs he edited himself.


00:28:39.919 --> 00:28:41.909
He didn't even like the stuff he edited


00:28:41.919 --> 00:28:45.190
himself. Simply like what you edit


00:28:45.200 --> 00:28:47.190
yourself. I shouldn't have to take a


00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:49.029
screenshot and send it to him. Hey


00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:51.510
Tommy, can you like this program? It's


00:28:51.520 --> 00:28:54.149
your own show. Like the stuff you should


00:28:54.159 --> 00:28:57.269
go to it. How many shows did he watch of


00:28:57.279 --> 00:28:59.269
the stuff he edited or you edited,


00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:02.470
right? So, you know what? I'm sure that


00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:05.029
he watched the one where I let him go on


00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:07.830
air on live, right? That one was very


00:29:07.840 --> 00:29:10.710
popular. That one got nine hours so far.


00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:13.269
The joke one got over 20 hours. We're


00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:15.510
picking up. Now we're getting out of the


00:29:15.520 --> 00:29:17.830
category. I put every live stream in


00:29:17.840 --> 00:29:20.310
entertainment. That was my bad. Now I


00:29:20.320 --> 00:29:22.470
put them in education and they're


00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:23.990
getting they're picking up. And when you


00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:25.510
put them in education, the algorithm


00:29:25.520 --> 00:29:27.350
picks it up. Now we're getting a lot


00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:29.510
more hours for most of the live streams


00:29:29.520 --> 00:29:32.389
because master classes like Taylor live


00:29:32.399 --> 00:29:34.870
the queen is comedy. It's all comedy.


00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:37.110
But master classes where I'm teaching


00:29:37.120 --> 00:29:39.110
that's education. I thought well it's


00:29:39.120 --> 00:29:41.669
not really education cuz you know I


00:29:41.679 --> 00:29:43.750
don't have a degree this and that and


00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:45.590
I'm doing jokes. So I put it in the


00:29:45.600 --> 00:29:49.350
entertainment category. I was wrong. So


00:29:49.360 --> 00:29:51.029
now I put him in education. Everything


00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:53.190
is education unless it's just a guest


00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:55.350
and we're just doing jokes. Then it's


00:29:55.360 --> 00:29:56.950
comedy.


00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:59.110
So you learn just like I I teach about


00:29:59.120 --> 00:30:01.669
learning, overcoming failure. You have


00:30:01.679 --> 00:30:03.669
little microcosms, little failures along


00:30:03.679 --> 00:30:05.350
the way, and you pick it up. Tommy will


00:30:05.360 --> 00:30:06.789
be fine. Don't worry about him. You can


00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:08.789
give him some of your percentage. [ __ ]


00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:09.909
no. You're not going to give him any of


00:30:09.919 --> 00:30:12.230
your money. I know that, right? You're


00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:13.750
not going to give him any Yeah. Now he's


00:30:13.760 --> 00:30:14.789
smiling, right? He's going to keep it


00:30:14.799 --> 00:30:16.310
all for himself. And when we start


00:30:16.320 --> 00:30:20.310
making money, Bobb's going to love me.


00:30:20.320 --> 00:30:22.070
And I'm, you know, I feel the same way.


00:30:22.080 --> 00:30:25.190
It's all about having a legacy, getting


00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:28.070
paid, all that stuff. That's coming up.


00:30:28.080 --> 00:30:34.310
It's coming up. You can feel it, right?


00:30:34.320 --> 00:30:36.789
Any other questions about Tommy? You


00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:39.750
sure? I'm more than able to answer


00:30:39.760 --> 00:30:43.110
anything. No, you're good. Okay. So,


00:30:43.120 --> 00:30:46.149
okay. So, we have


00:30:46.159 --> 00:30:48.549
now you have to use the person you're


00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:50.470
about to insult, the receiver of the


00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.909
insult. You have to tailor your insult


00:30:53.919 --> 00:30:56.549
for the person. So, let's take Bobby.


00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:58.549
He's right here. Okay. Oh, no. He looked


00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:00.789
up, right? Okay. He's wearing a nice


00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:03.510
hoodie. He's got nice jeans on. First


00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:05.029
time he had a hoodie. Now, it's getting


00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:07.190
cold. It's cold in the morning. Combed


00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:09.350
his hair. He's like, look, he's he looks


00:31:09.360 --> 00:31:12.230
nervous right now. Why? because he knows


00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:14.230
I'm about to catch him off guard. He's


00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:15.830
waiting for a little twist. He's waiting


00:31:15.840 --> 00:31:17.590
for that little but I'm not going to


00:31:17.600 --> 00:31:19.590
insult him right now because he's not is


00:31:19.600 --> 00:31:21.669
obviously not ready to receive it. So,


00:31:21.679 --> 00:31:23.430
I'm going to let him go right now. But


00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:25.029
when you see a person on the road,


00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:26.710
you're driving, the person is in the


00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.789
car, and you have your kids in the car,


00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:30.389
your wife, and you see the guy, he's


00:31:30.399 --> 00:31:32.710
like drifting into your lane. You look


00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:35.430
at him. He looks like a Mr. Magcoo, like


00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:37.669
he's blind. He looks like, you know, he


00:31:37.679 --> 00:31:40.789
looks like his wife just left him or he


00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:44.149
just his his kids just ran away. There


00:31:44.159 --> 00:31:47.350
you go. So, you look at the person and


00:31:47.360 --> 00:31:50.549
you tailor the insult for you profile


00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:53.430
like cops see you. Uh you're black, they


00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:55.029
profile you, you must be a criminal,


00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:57.990
right? So, they profile you. Um you're


00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:01.190
walking funny. Uh you're maybe gay or


00:32:01.200 --> 00:32:03.350
whatever. They profile you. So, you


00:32:03.360 --> 00:32:05.190
profile the person that you're


00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:07.750
insulting, but in a good way. So, you


00:32:07.760 --> 00:32:10.070
see them, they're 7 feet tall. So, where


00:32:10.080 --> 00:32:12.149
do you go? You tailor the insult for


00:32:12.159 --> 00:32:15.750
their height. You see them and they're


00:32:15.760 --> 00:32:19.029
500 lb, right? So, you tailor the insult


00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:22.389
for their weight, but in a good


00:32:22.399 --> 00:32:24.870
naturatured way, not malicious, not


00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:28.230
vulgar, clean. And the person who's 500


00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:31.590
lb who you're about to insult has to be


00:32:31.600 --> 00:32:33.830
able to receive that insult because you


00:32:33.840 --> 00:32:36.870
want them to laugh first. If they don't


00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:40.870
laugh, it's not as good. If the receiver


00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:43.590
of the insult laughs first and laughs


00:32:43.600 --> 00:32:45.509
the hardest, that's when you've


00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.509
succeeded. That's the best insult of


00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:50.070
all. So, how do you do that? First, you


00:32:50.080 --> 00:32:51.509
have to see they're not frowning.


00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:53.190
They're not, you know, look, not very


00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:55.110
happy. He's looking at me. is like I


00:32:55.120 --> 00:32:56.870
just laid him off or something. So, I'm


00:32:56.880 --> 00:32:57.990
not going to leave him alone. I'm not


00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:59.029
going to insult him. I'm going to come


00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:00.549
back maybe 10 minutes later after he


00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:01.750
smiles. Boom. I'll hit him with the


00:33:01.760 --> 00:33:04.070
insult. So, you see the person, it's 500


00:33:04.080 --> 00:33:06.070
lb. You want to insult him. So, you


00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:11.029
don't go to the truth.


00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:15.190
The insult is never about the truth. So


00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:18.950
there's a green a tiny green a little


00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:23.190
tiny breadcrumb of truth in an insult,


00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:26.549
but it's not about the truth. If you're


00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:30.149
truthful in the insult, not funny. No


00:33:30.159 --> 00:33:32.549
one will laugh. No one will like it.


00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:35.269
When I say, "Bobby, you're you're really


00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:36.950
cool. You're wonderful. I don't think I


00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:38.549
can stand looking at you the rest of my


00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:42.070
life." Obviously, I don't mean that. I


00:33:42.080 --> 00:33:44.149
hope nothing more. The opposite is true.


00:33:44.159 --> 00:33:46.310
I hope nothing more than for us to make


00:33:46.320 --> 00:33:49.110
money and succeed and for us to always


00:33:49.120 --> 00:33:51.909
be together making money and succeeding.


00:33:51.919 --> 00:33:54.389
That's the truth. But of course, I'm


00:33:54.399 --> 00:33:56.470
going to always go. There's a grain of


00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:57.990
truth. He makes me mad. He's on his


00:33:58.000 --> 00:33:59.750
phone. He shouldn't be. So, there's a


00:33:59.760 --> 00:34:01.509
grain of truth in the insult. No matter


00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:03.509
what the insult. What was the the


00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.310
monologue of death? I said, um, oh, get


00:34:06.320 --> 00:34:07.509
out of the way. I'm talking about


00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:10.629
someone I love. Right. Okay. That was


00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:11.589
good.


00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:14.149
But okay, so of course he's not my


00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:15.990
family member. He's not like my good


00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.550
friend who I've known for years. So I


00:34:18.560 --> 00:34:19.669
want him to get out of the way because


00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:21.750
I'm distracted. Always go off on a


00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:23.030
tangent. So I want him to get out of the


00:34:23.040 --> 00:34:24.550
way. I'm concentrating about this woman


00:34:24.560 --> 00:34:26.710
I love. So I want him to get out of the


00:34:26.720 --> 00:34:28.550
way while I'm thinking about her. So


00:34:28.560 --> 00:34:30.629
there's a grain of truth in the insult.


00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:32.869
But of course I don't mind him at all.


00:34:32.879 --> 00:34:35.349
In fact, I'm I'm very happy he's there.


00:34:35.359 --> 00:34:37.430
But there's always a grain of truth. But


00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:40.069
you want to insult that 500 lb guy. You


00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:42.790
don't talk about how much he eats. Not


00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:45.589
funny. So, you use your imagination and


00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:48.470
your creativity and you talk about maybe


00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:51.829
how his uh his girlfriend mistreats him


00:34:51.839 --> 00:34:54.230
or he it's hard to find a girlfriend or


00:34:54.240 --> 00:34:56.149
you go off. You try to use your


00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:58.470
creativity and you don't talk about the


00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:00.470
truth. You don't talk about, man, he's


00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:03.910
been overeing for years. Not funny.


00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:06.310
Okay? So, you use your creativity and


00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:08.550
your imagination and you never go to the


00:35:08.560 --> 00:35:11.910
truth. The best insult is when it's the


00:35:11.920 --> 00:35:14.390
opposite of the truth and the receiver


00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:17.829
is open to receive your insult and the


00:35:17.839 --> 00:35:20.230
receiver laughs first. Okay? Just like


00:35:20.240 --> 00:35:23.030
at Costco when I told the guy, "Please


00:35:23.040 --> 00:35:24.630
don't be late with my taxes." The guy


00:35:24.640 --> 00:35:26.470
coming out of Costco, he starts


00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:28.790
laughing. Or the old guy with the dog, I


00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:29.990
said, "Looks like you don't." It's


00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:31.190
really old guy sitting there. I said,


00:35:31.200 --> 00:35:32.390
"You don't looks like you don't have a


00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:34.710
lot of time left." Right? You saw that.


00:35:34.720 --> 00:35:36.310
Remember that? Things like that. or is


00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:38.950
there a next kid I can contact for you?


00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:41.109
Things like that. Goodnatured, not


00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:43.349
malicious. Okay. Just like you see a


00:35:43.359 --> 00:35:45.990
roast on Netflix. Malicious, right? You


00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:49.510
got Tom Brady Tom Brady cursing, calling


00:35:49.520 --> 00:35:52.230
Kevin Hart a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Every


00:35:52.240 --> 00:35:56.230
other word is [ __ ] No, no, no. Was it


00:35:56.240 --> 00:35:59.030
funny? Did you watch it? The Kevin Hart


00:35:59.040 --> 00:36:01.670
roast few months ago. Have you ever seen


00:36:01.680 --> 00:36:04.710
a roast on Netflix? No. You're better


00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:06.390
off. They're not funny. If you want to


00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:08.870
watch a real roast, go back to the 70s


00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:11.349
with Don Rickles and Dean Martin and


00:36:11.359 --> 00:36:13.589
Frank Sinatra and watch the roast from


00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:15.109
back in the 70s. They have them on


00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:17.670
YouTube. Those are goodnatured.


00:36:17.680 --> 00:36:20.390
Sometimes Don Rickles steps over the


00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:22.870
line cuz it's the 1970s. So, he makes


00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:25.349
fun of uh black people in a way that you


00:36:25.359 --> 00:36:28.230
wouldn't do today. I could because I've


00:36:28.240 --> 00:36:30.550
been practicing it for years. And when I


00:36:30.560 --> 00:36:33.109
say it, it doesn't seem like I'm I'm


00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:35.030
going up to the line, but I don't go


00:36:35.040 --> 00:36:37.589
over the line. So Don Rickles would say


00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:39.589
to a black person, you know, you live in


00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:40.790
my neighborhood. They're like, no. And


00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:42.630
he says, thank God. In other words,


00:36:42.640 --> 00:36:43.990
implying that he doesn't want a black


00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:46.710
person living next to him. So sometimes


00:36:46.720 --> 00:36:48.710
he says things that might rub someone


00:36:48.720 --> 00:36:51.270
the wrong way, but it was the 1970s. Now


00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:53.829
you can't use all of that language in


00:36:53.839 --> 00:36:55.829
the way that he did, but you can still


00:36:55.839 --> 00:36:58.069
do it. And if you watch my show, I still


00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:02.150
insult people. I still talk crazy and


00:37:02.160 --> 00:37:04.630
it's people laugh because it's not


00:37:04.640 --> 00:37:07.190
harmful. People can tell that it's not


00:37:07.200 --> 00:37:10.710
it's harmless when I do it. Okay.


00:37:10.720 --> 00:37:13.270
Except sometimes when I talk to Bobby,


00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.349
he's like, "Oh, is that real? Does he


00:37:15.359 --> 00:37:19.190
really mean it?" Okay. But no, so we got


00:37:19.200 --> 00:37:31.270
rid of that one. Okay.


00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:33.349
When Bobby first came to me, I think the


00:37:33.359 --> 00:37:35.430
second or third day, I said, "Look,


00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:37.430
Bobby, I'm really old. Please tell me


00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:38.870
what to call you." And he said, "Thank


00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:41.829
you for asking. He, him, they, them." I


00:37:41.839 --> 00:37:43.589
said, "Okay, that's cool." And I thought


00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:45.829
to myself, 3 months later, I still don't


00:37:45.839 --> 00:37:48.390
know what that means, but I'm I don't


00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:50.950
think I can be they, them. In fact, I'm


00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:53.829
glad I'm not they them because my wife


00:37:53.839 --> 00:37:55.589
would kill herself. She can barely


00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:58.310
handle one of me.


00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:00.150
That's it. That's the best pronoun joke


00:38:00.160 --> 00:38:03.349
I have. Okay. So, you see that? It's a


00:38:03.359 --> 00:38:06.470
little twist. Not bad, right?


00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.310
Okay. But there was a twist, right?


00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:11.030
Little twist. So, you knew something was


00:38:11.040 --> 00:38:12.310
coming. You're not going to be surprised


00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.150
by something I'm going to say, but I


00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:15.430
caught you off guard. You weren't


00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:17.750
expecting me to say that my wife would


00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:19.349
kill herself because she could barely


00:38:19.359 --> 00:38:21.990
stand one of me, right? Little twist off


00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:24.870
of they them. Get it? You never heard


00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:26.470
that one before, right? You know why


00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:29.109
you've never heard it before? Yes, you


00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:32.230
do. Who am I? Yes. Right. Because I made


00:38:32.240 --> 00:38:33.589
it up. That's why you never heard it


00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:35.990
before. Okay. I never use stuff that's


00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:39.990
not original. Okay. So,


00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.310
insult is opposite of the truth. That's


00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:44.950
what makes it funny. If it was true,


00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:47.270
it's not funny. So, when you see someone


00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:49.270
and you see they're, let's say,


00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:51.109
anorexic, you're not going to talk about


00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:53.670
how they're throwing up. Not funny.


00:38:53.680 --> 00:38:55.589
Okay? It has to be something that's not


00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:57.990
malicious, good-hearted from the heart.


00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:59.670
So, you don't even talk about their


00:38:59.680 --> 00:39:02.630
problem or they're too skinny. You talk


00:39:02.640 --> 00:39:05.670
about how um, you know, you go off and


00:39:05.680 --> 00:39:07.430
use your creativity and use something


00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:09.670
that's completely untrue, completely


00:39:09.680 --> 00:39:13.990
opposite of truth. You talk about how um


00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:16.790
talk about the um some club or


00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:19.910
organization that she would be a part


00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:22.390
of, but you want to insult her. So, you


00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:24.069
just want to stay away from the truth


00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:25.589
because it's going to be hurtful. So,


00:39:25.599 --> 00:39:27.829
you don't want to talk about uh her


00:39:27.839 --> 00:39:30.150
being too skinny or the tall guy being


00:39:30.160 --> 00:39:31.829
too tall. You can go there. You can talk


00:39:31.839 --> 00:39:34.390
about how he's really tall and how, you


00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:36.390
know, people probably stare at him and


00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:38.870
stuff, but you always want the opposite


00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:41.349
of what is true.


00:39:41.359 --> 00:39:44.470
So, let me see. The insult must amuse


00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:48.069
the receiver. Okay. So, that's why you


00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:50.310
have to amuse the receiver. So, let me


00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:52.310
ask you, Bobby, when I did the monologue


00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:54.790
of death and I'm like, "Get out of the


00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:55.990
camera. I'm talking about someone I


00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:59.510
love." That didn't amuse you, did it? It


00:39:59.520 --> 00:40:03.349
did amuse you.


00:40:03.359 --> 00:40:06.870
Okay. So, Okay. I'm glad you felt that


00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:09.349
way. I'm glad you right away you


00:40:09.359 --> 00:40:13.750
recognized that people. Okay, guys. So,


00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:15.829
if you get into the chat now, there's a


00:40:15.839 --> 00:40:17.270
lot of people in the chat, but they're


00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.390
very passive. Wow, it's increasing. So,


00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:22.950
just let me know uh that you're in the


00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:24.390
chat because I see how many people are.


00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:26.069
It's like it keeps going up and up.


00:40:26.079 --> 00:40:28.390
There's people here, but just don't Oh,


00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:29.829
they don't want to be insulted. That's


00:40:29.839 --> 00:40:32.550
why they're not Oh, okay. If you go into


00:40:32.560 --> 00:40:34.790
the chat, I'll insult Bobby. Okay. It's


00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:35.829
going to be really good. It's going to


00:40:35.839 --> 00:40:37.510
be insult. I never gave him before. It's


00:40:37.520 --> 00:40:39.270
going to be fantastic. So, just go into


00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:40.870
the chat, just say something, just


00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:43.510
anything, one word. I I'll insult him.


00:40:43.520 --> 00:40:45.430
Or if you want, I'll insult your wife,


00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:48.470
your girlfriend, your u your dog, your


00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:51.190
uh boss, uh whatever the case may be.


00:40:51.200 --> 00:40:53.589
But oh, oh, people people don't want to


00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:55.510
be insulted. No, I can't. Don't worry.


00:40:55.520 --> 00:40:57.109
I'm not going to insult you if you look


00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:59.030
how you don't have to drop out of the


00:40:59.040 --> 00:41:00.710
chat. I'm not going to insult you. Don't


00:41:00.720 --> 00:41:02.630
People are scared of being insulted. But


00:41:02.640 --> 00:41:04.470
why? I'm not going to do it in a bad


00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:06.230
way. they haven't been watching the


00:41:06.240 --> 00:41:09.349
show. It's all it's all in fun and it's


00:41:09.359 --> 00:41:11.510
it's not going to be malicious at all.


00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:12.950
In fact, the person who receives the


00:41:12.960 --> 00:41:17.510
insult laughs the most. Okay. So,


00:41:17.520 --> 00:41:21.190
now only insult the receiver when you


00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:23.349
know the receiver likes you. Like in the


00:41:23.359 --> 00:41:27.910
case of um Henry or any other neighbor,


00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:29.990
they all don't like me. I know it's hard


00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:32.230
to imagine. I'm not going to even talk


00:41:32.240 --> 00:41:34.630
to them, let alone try to insult them.


00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:36.950
So, if I insult any of them, it's going


00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:39.670
to be in a bad way. I'm going to really


00:41:39.680 --> 00:41:41.829
let them have it. It's not going to be a


00:41:41.839 --> 00:41:43.910
fun insult. It's not going to be It's


00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.670
going to be the truth. It's going to be


00:41:45.680 --> 00:41:47.430
the opposite of what I'm teaching you


00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:49.910
because I'm trying to piss him off. I'm


00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:51.750
not trying to make them laugh. Someone I


00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:53.670
don't like, I'm not going to try to make


00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:55.430
him laugh. I don't want them to laugh. I


00:41:55.440 --> 00:41:56.870
want him to be pissed off, right?


00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:58.790
Because I don't like them. So, what am I


00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:01.030
going to do? So, it's just like watching


00:42:01.040 --> 00:42:03.109
a bad movie. You're a writer and you're


00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:05.910
watching a bad movie. So, you know


00:42:05.920 --> 00:42:07.910
exactly that. You got to you're going to


00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:09.349
do the opposite of that. You're going to


00:42:09.359 --> 00:42:11.510
do what makes it a bad movie. There's no


00:42:11.520 --> 00:42:13.589
conflict. It's boring. You don't care


00:42:13.599 --> 00:42:15.109
about the characters. You don't care if


00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:17.349
they die or live. So, you're going to do


00:42:17.359 --> 00:42:19.270
the opposite of that as a writer. You're


00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:20.950
going to have interesting characters,


00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:22.870
characters people love where they're


00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:24.309
going to root them on. You're going to


00:42:24.319 --> 00:42:26.069
have conflict driving the story,


00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:28.150
character driven. When you have a TV


00:42:28.160 --> 00:42:30.630
show, even a TV show that's like based


00:42:30.640 --> 00:42:33.190
in someone's uh living room, lowbudget,


00:42:33.200 --> 00:42:34.950
which most of them are, you have


00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:37.829
conflict. You have character-driven


00:42:37.839 --> 00:42:40.630
Seinfeld, lowbudget. It's either in a


00:42:40.640 --> 00:42:41.990
bedroom or a living room or a


00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:44.069
restaurant. It's character-driven.


00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:45.670
Someone doesn't like me. What are the


00:42:45.680 --> 00:42:48.150
story lines? Um, we're masturbating.


00:42:48.160 --> 00:42:50.870
Let's do a masturbation contest. Uh,


00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:52.950
someone had a baby. The baby's ugly. We


00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:54.309
don't want to tell them their baby's


00:42:54.319 --> 00:42:56.470
ugly. They think their baby's cute. just


00:42:56.480 --> 00:42:58.550
character-driven conflict. Conflict. It


00:42:58.560 --> 00:43:00.390
had a lot of conflict. That's why it was


00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:01.670
like one of the best shows in the


00:43:01.680 --> 00:43:03.829
history of the world. It had conflict


00:43:03.839 --> 00:43:05.910
and it built on that conflict. So


00:43:05.920 --> 00:43:08.470
whether it's a screenplay, a teleplay,


00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:10.790
TV show, thriller, it's got to have that


00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:14.230
conflict just like insult. But remember,


00:43:14.240 --> 00:43:17.670
the conflict can be offensive or rude.


00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:19.430
But the most important thing, the


00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:21.750
receiver has to, you know, how the


00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:23.270
monologue of death I told him get out of


00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:25.430
the way of the camera. He enjoyed it. He


00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:28.950
said he liked it. There you go. He liked


00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:31.349
it and he thought it was funny and


00:43:31.359 --> 00:43:32.950
everyone else did. And you saw how


00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:35.190
within two hours it got like 500,000


00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:37.510
total. We took it off and we put it back


00:43:37.520 --> 00:43:40.150
on because when you put it when you did


00:43:40.160 --> 00:43:41.829
it the second time, you added something


00:43:41.839 --> 00:43:43.430
to it which I didn't like. So I put the


00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:46.710
original back on. So it's like when you


00:43:46.720 --> 00:43:50.069
tell a joke or an insult after you do


00:43:50.079 --> 00:43:51.910
the insult or you do the joke, you do


00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:54.870
the punch line. And I have a lot more.


00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:56.470
After you do the punch line, the person


00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:59.670
laughs. You're done. You don't have to


00:43:59.680 --> 00:44:02.710
keep going. When I sell a product, I


00:44:02.720 --> 00:44:05.750
sell a car. I close them. They're


00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:08.309
closed. They just bought it. I don't


00:44:08.319 --> 00:44:10.710
keep selling them. I'm done. I sold


00:44:10.720 --> 00:44:13.670
them. You're trying to You're attracted


00:44:13.680 --> 00:44:15.349
to someone and you want to sleep with


00:44:15.359 --> 00:44:17.190
them. Okay. So, you're flirting. You're


00:44:17.200 --> 00:44:19.190
flirting. You're flirting. Trying to get


00:44:19.200 --> 00:44:21.750
them in bed. You get them in bed. You


00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:23.589
sleep with them right after you sleep


00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:25.589
with them. You don't start flirting with


00:44:25.599 --> 00:44:28.150
them, right? You're done. The flirting


00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:30.069
was to get them in bed. You already got


00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:33.030
what you wanted. So So Bobby, when you


00:44:33.040 --> 00:44:35.430
did the the monologue of death one, the


00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:37.510
little part at the end, I wanted just a


00:44:37.520 --> 00:44:39.990
tiny half second more for people to see


00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.790
my face, not for more words to come.


00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:44.870
Because after the insult, people


00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:46.470
laughed. It was done. You don't have to


00:44:46.480 --> 00:44:48.550
add more words to it. That's like the


00:44:48.560 --> 00:44:50.790
example. But it's good that it's good.


00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:52.710
Um, this is good training. What? You


00:44:52.720 --> 00:44:54.390
don't want it on air. It's okay. People


00:44:54.400 --> 00:44:56.230
love you. You're They call you the best,


00:44:56.240 --> 00:44:58.950
right? Okay. That's because of me,


00:44:58.960 --> 00:45:00.710
right? I mean, you what you are. You


00:45:00.720 --> 00:45:02.710
should be happy. I mean, not what you


00:45:02.720 --> 00:45:08.790
are, but you know what I mean.


00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:12.790
A star. You're bored.


00:45:12.800 --> 00:45:14.309
>> Okay.


00:45:14.319 --> 00:45:16.950
So, let me go to


00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:19.510
went to the wrong one. That's okay.


00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:21.430
That's okay.


00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:24.230
Okay. The best insults sometimes if you


00:45:24.240 --> 00:45:27.190
want to stay safe, you insult yourself


00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:29.750
or you can insult your wife. Like right


00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:32.790
now when I talked about the they them my


00:45:32.800 --> 00:45:35.510
wife, she would if if I was they them,


00:45:35.520 --> 00:45:36.950
she would kill herself. She can barely


00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:39.750
stand one of me. I insulted myself. I


00:45:39.760 --> 00:45:41.030
don't know why he didn't like that. I


00:45:41.040 --> 00:45:43.190
wasn't insulting him. It was me. I still


00:45:43.200 --> 00:45:46.630
didn't like it. So sensitive, right? So


00:45:46.640 --> 00:45:48.309
sometimes you insult yourself. It's


00:45:48.319 --> 00:45:50.390
safer that way. You don't have to risk


00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:52.150
insulting other people or offending


00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:56.550
other people. Just


00:45:56.560 --> 00:45:59.589
it's okay. Why are you standing the


00:45:59.599 --> 00:46:02.950
thing? Okay. So, okay. So, with insult


00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:05.510
you can use your creativity. You have to


00:46:05.520 --> 00:46:09.430
do sometimes, many times a fake story.


00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:11.270
You see someone on the road, you want to


00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:13.270
make fun of him and he's driving next to


00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:14.790
you, but he's driving too close to your


00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:16.390
car. Like, [ __ ] him. You want to insult


00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:18.550
him. Yeah. Like, look how he just I'm


00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:20.710
sure he just look how I'm sure he just


00:46:20.720 --> 00:46:22.950
got fired. My kids are like, "How do you


00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:25.349
know that [ __ ] We're sure he didn't get


00:46:25.359 --> 00:46:27.109
fired, Dad. Why did you just say he just


00:46:27.119 --> 00:46:29.910
got fired?" You make up a fake story.


00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:31.910
Use your creativity. I'm not going to


00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:34.069
say how Look how he has a wart on his


00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:36.470
cheek. Not funny. Look how he's missing


00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:38.950
teeth. Not funny. When I tell Henry you


00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:40.390
have no teeth, it's because I want to


00:46:40.400 --> 00:46:42.069
piss him off. I'm not trying to make him


00:46:42.079 --> 00:46:44.630
laugh. I tell him, "Henry, you have no


00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:46.550
teeth. Don't talk to me. talk to me when


00:46:46.560 --> 00:46:48.309
you get some teeth. Okay? I'm not trying


00:46:48.319 --> 00:46:49.589
to make him laugh. I'm trying to piss


00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:52.390
him off. So, I'm not going to talk about


00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:54.790
that guy and say, "Oh, look how he's


00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:57.030
he's bald. I'm bald, right? I can't talk


00:46:57.040 --> 00:46:59.829
about someone else who's bald." But have


00:46:59.839 --> 00:47:05.430
a seat. You're making me this


00:47:05.440 --> 00:47:08.470
uncomfortable with my jokes.


00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:10.950
You love my jokes, right? Fantastic.


00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:13.670
Okay. So, the insult can be perceived as


00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:16.309
rude, offensive, as long as it's funny.


00:47:16.319 --> 00:47:18.150
Funny means there's a twist. You catch


00:47:18.160 --> 00:47:19.589
them off guard. You're not trying to


00:47:19.599 --> 00:47:21.829
surprise them. They're not surprised by


00:47:21.839 --> 00:47:23.430
a bank robber going in a bank and


00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:24.950
robbing the bank. They're not surprised


00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:26.790
by Tony Rockman wants to say something


00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:29.030
to make you laugh. I got to catch them


00:47:29.040 --> 00:47:32.309
off guard with a twist. But now,


00:47:32.319 --> 00:47:35.270
here's the thing. So, a insult is


00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:36.870
different than a joke in this way. And I


00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:39.670
touched on it earlier. So when you tell


00:47:39.680 --> 00:47:42.069
a joke, it's like a onetwo punch. You


00:47:42.079 --> 00:47:44.069
set it up with the foundation, then you


00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:47.829
have the punchline. So earlier I said,


00:47:47.839 --> 00:47:49.349
you know, Bobby, you're wonderful.


00:47:49.359 --> 00:47:51.430
You're a nice guy. I don't think I can


00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:52.710
stand looking at you the rest of my


00:47:52.720 --> 00:47:55.589
life. Okay, the foundation was he's a


00:47:55.599 --> 00:47:58.230
nice guy. He's a good guy. Boom. I hit


00:47:58.240 --> 00:48:00.069
him with an insult. Okay, he wasn't


00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:02.150
ready to receive it, but that's the idea


00:48:02.160 --> 00:48:05.270
of it. Foundation, punchline. Now, with


00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:07.990
a joke, a joke can be a with a boxer,


00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:10.150
you have a one, two. Always one, two,


00:48:10.160 --> 00:48:11.750
just like a joke. Foundation, punch


00:48:11.760 --> 00:48:15.430
line, one, two. Now, a joke can be a


00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:18.309
little jab. Okay? A joke could be very


00:48:18.319 --> 00:48:20.550
soft. It doesn't have to be a hard


00:48:20.560 --> 00:48:23.030
punch. Doesn't have to be a hook. It


00:48:23.040 --> 00:48:25.030
could be a little jab. A joke could be


00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:26.549
just something, just a little something,


00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:29.910
a little twist to make someone laugh.


00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:32.710
But not an insult. Insult cannot be a


00:48:32.720 --> 00:48:33.990
little jab.


00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:35.829
When I'm talking about the old guy at


00:48:35.839 --> 00:48:37.349
Costco and I'm talking about how he


00:48:37.359 --> 00:48:39.589
doesn't have a lot of time to live.


00:48:39.599 --> 00:48:42.470
Okay, that's not a jab. That's a I'm


00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:44.230
trying to knock him out. A knockout


00:48:44.240 --> 00:48:47.190
punch. So, the same thing foundation


00:48:47.200 --> 00:48:49.829
punch line. It has insult has to be a


00:48:49.839 --> 00:48:52.870
try to a knockout. It has to be hard.


00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:54.790
Not like a joke where you can jab and


00:48:54.800 --> 00:48:57.109
still be funny. With an insult, it's got


00:48:57.119 --> 00:48:59.910
to be a hard punch. Try to knock out.


00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:01.750
Now remember,


00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:03.510
foundation and punch line can be the


00:49:03.520 --> 00:49:05.750
same line. So when I told the old guy at


00:49:05.760 --> 00:49:07.510
Costco, "It looks like you don't have a


00:49:07.520 --> 00:49:10.230
lot of time left." That's the foundation


00:49:10.240 --> 00:49:12.390
and the punch line together. So I didn't


00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:14.230
say, "Well, you look like a nice guy.


00:49:14.240 --> 00:49:15.670
You don't have a lot of time. Doesn't


00:49:15.680 --> 00:49:17.270
look like you have a lot of time left."


00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:19.030
I could have done that one, two,


00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:20.790
foundation, punch line. But you can


00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:23.910
combine it and just because you want to


00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:25.430
be concise. You don't want to be too


00:49:25.440 --> 00:49:27.589
long. You want to go fast. A boxer


00:49:27.599 --> 00:49:31.190
doesn't telegraph. One, two, one, two,


00:49:31.200 --> 00:49:33.750
fast, right? So, you try to hit them


00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:35.829
fast and remember insult. You try to


00:49:35.839 --> 00:49:38.470
knock out, not like a a joke. You could


00:49:38.480 --> 00:49:40.630
do a you could do a hook, you could do a


00:49:40.640 --> 00:49:42.549
jab, it could still be funny as long as


00:49:42.559 --> 00:49:47.190
you have a twist. Okay? So,


00:49:47.200 --> 00:49:49.430
you use the receivers's attributes


00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:53.030
against them. So, if a receiver is a a


00:49:53.040 --> 00:49:55.990
good-looking, a guy, a girl, whatever


00:49:56.000 --> 00:49:58.870
the case may be, you're not sure, use


00:49:58.880 --> 00:50:01.190
their attributes against them in the


00:50:01.200 --> 00:50:03.990
insult. But again, make sure it's not


00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:06.549
malicious. Make sure they know that you


00:50:06.559 --> 00:50:09.430
mean no harm. And how do you do that?


00:50:09.440 --> 00:50:11.750
You do that by by staying away from the


00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:13.750
whole truth. You're not trying to be


00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:15.589
truthful. You're not trying to tell them


00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:17.270
something they know. You're not trying


00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:19.030
to point out something like I point out


00:50:19.040 --> 00:50:21.030
to Henry, he's got no teeth. I'm


00:50:21.040 --> 00:50:23.270
pointing out the truth. Not funny,


00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:25.349
right? You don't want to point out


00:50:25.359 --> 00:50:27.349
something that's true. You want to make


00:50:27.359 --> 00:50:30.549
up a fake story. Use your imagination.


00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:32.549
It can have a grain of truth. That's


00:50:32.559 --> 00:50:34.390
fine because you're profiling the


00:50:34.400 --> 00:50:36.309
person. And that's okay because you're


00:50:36.319 --> 00:50:37.750
using that for your to build your


00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:41.030
insult. But you're going to


00:50:41.040 --> 00:50:43.349
remember try to knock out punch. It has


00:50:43.359 --> 00:50:45.910
got to be not vulgar, clean,


00:50:45.920 --> 00:50:47.430
goodnatured,


00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:49.430
not like the roast on Netflix that you


00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:52.630
see. They're talking [ __ ] [ __ ] dick.


00:50:52.640 --> 00:50:55.990
No, that's not how you do insult. So, if


00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:57.670
you ever watch it, believe me, you're


00:50:57.680 --> 00:50:59.990
going to you're not going to believe


00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:02.069
those comedy writers are getting paid


00:51:02.079 --> 00:51:03.829
writing insults. They're getting paid


00:51:03.839 --> 00:51:05.990
money.


00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:07.829
And it's not even funny. You watch they


00:51:07.839 --> 00:51:09.990
wrote for Tom Brady and people are like,


00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:12.069
"Oh, that's Tom Brady. He's a football


00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.069
player." In other words, that's why the


00:51:14.079 --> 00:51:16.710
insults didn't go well. No, no, no, no.


00:51:16.720 --> 00:51:18.549
So, I have guests on my show, just


00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:20.790
people from the gym, and you notice how


00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:22.630
they're telling jokes and they're people


00:51:22.640 --> 00:51:25.030
are laughing. I set them up, I lob, and


00:51:25.040 --> 00:51:27.190
I d and they dunk it. So, I set them up


00:51:27.200 --> 00:51:30.069
with a joke and they they do the joke


00:51:30.079 --> 00:51:32.390
and they're funny. So, it could be


00:51:32.400 --> 00:51:35.990
anyone, absolutely anyone, as long as


00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:37.910
you write something funny for the


00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:41.670
person. Anyone can tell a funny joke. If


00:51:41.680 --> 00:51:44.069
you write a funny insult, Tom Brady


00:51:44.079 --> 00:51:45.910
could have delivered it very very very


00:51:45.920 --> 00:51:48.470
well. But if it's not funny to begin


00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:51.270
with, then don't say it's he's a


00:51:51.280 --> 00:51:53.990
football player. He's not a The people


00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:55.589
on my show, you've seen many people on


00:51:55.599 --> 00:51:57.829
my show have told jokes, right? Funny,


00:51:57.839 --> 00:52:00.390
right? Like uh Bubinder, my Indian


00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:02.390
guest, remember he said that I'm a six,


00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:04.150
remember I said that the girl I took


00:52:04.160 --> 00:52:07.030
away her virginity. I feel really bad.


00:52:07.040 --> 00:52:08.710
And uh she could tell her husband on her


00:52:08.720 --> 00:52:10.870
honeymoon that uh she fell off a horse.


00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:12.230
In other words, that's why she doesn't


00:52:12.240 --> 00:52:13.750
have any blood. And he said, "Yeah, she


00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:16.470
fell off a 6'2 horse." In other words,


00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:19.190
that I was with her, you see. And he's


00:52:19.200 --> 00:52:21.190
just a regular guy, right? He's not, you


00:52:21.200 --> 00:52:23.030
know, and he's telling jokes. What you


00:52:23.040 --> 00:52:24.790
doing now?


00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:28.790
Snapchat.


00:52:28.800 --> 00:52:31.030
I think you ruined the show today. No,


00:52:31.040 --> 00:52:32.630
I'm kidding. Oh, look. You took me


00:52:32.640 --> 00:52:39.349
seriously.


00:52:39.359 --> 00:52:41.190
No, your eyes are not red at all. Not


00:52:41.200 --> 00:52:42.710
bloodshot at all.


00:52:42.720 --> 00:52:44.950
>> You've never been prettier.


00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:48.549
No, I'm joking. That's a joke.


00:52:48.559 --> 00:52:50.710
>> No, it's not. It's Can I tell you


00:52:50.720 --> 00:52:52.950
something? When I was Now, I'm 54. When


00:52:52.960 --> 00:52:55.349
I was in my early 20s, it's going to be


00:52:55.359 --> 00:52:57.589
hard to believe, but I swear to you,


00:52:57.599 --> 00:52:59.829
everyone said I was pretty. I know,


00:52:59.839 --> 00:53:01.589
crazy, right? Yeah. It's just a


00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:02.790
compliment. It means you're a


00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:04.390
good-looking person. It doesn't mean


00:53:04.400 --> 00:53:06.230
anything about being a guy or girl or


00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:07.990
any of that. People would call me


00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:10.069
pretty. You know, sometimes I remember


00:53:10.079 --> 00:53:11.670
when they call me pretty. I was, I don't


00:53:11.680 --> 00:53:13.670
know, 20, 21, 22. I was a little


00:53:13.680 --> 00:53:16.630
offended. What the I'm handsome, not


00:53:16.640 --> 00:53:19.190
pretty. But then I think back like I


00:53:19.200 --> 00:53:22.069
wish someone called me pretty now. But


00:53:22.079 --> 00:53:24.549
you like that one cuz I'm [ __ ] [ __ ]


00:53:24.559 --> 00:53:27.190
up now. That's why you laugh. Okay.


00:53:27.200 --> 00:53:28.950
Every time you do the camera, it leans


00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:30.549
down. This whole time I'm doing it cuz


00:53:30.559 --> 00:53:33.030
I'm focused. But I don't know why you


00:53:33.040 --> 00:53:35.030
can't get it straight. You know how it


00:53:35.040 --> 00:53:36.309
bothers me when I'm looking. But it's


00:53:36.319 --> 00:53:37.750
okay. I'm dealing with that. I'm dealing


00:53:37.760 --> 00:53:39.589
with you. Don't worry. I can I can


00:53:39.599 --> 00:53:43.190
continue. How long have we been going?


00:53:43.200 --> 00:53:45.109
Okay. So, I have I have many more. If


00:53:45.119 --> 00:53:46.710
you didn't interrupt me, we'd be done by


00:53:46.720 --> 00:53:50.630
now. Okay. So, see, there was a grain of


00:53:50.640 --> 00:53:53.030
truth in that, but he knew it was not


00:53:53.040 --> 00:53:55.510
malicious, not harmful. I meant nothing


00:53:55.520 --> 00:53:58.309
by it. So, he likes the one he likes the


00:53:58.319 --> 00:53:59.829
jokes apparently that I make fun of


00:53:59.839 --> 00:54:02.069
myself. Like I said, like I'm not pretty


00:54:02.079 --> 00:54:03.670
now. I'm [ __ ] up. He liked that one


00:54:03.680 --> 00:54:05.670
the best. That's okay. When you insult


00:54:05.680 --> 00:54:08.549
yourself, it's safe and people laugh.


00:54:08.559 --> 00:54:10.549
And that is actually better because now


00:54:10.559 --> 00:54:13.190
I've insulted myself. He knows, okay,


00:54:13.200 --> 00:54:15.109
the guy's funny. He's just insulting


00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:17.990
himself. Now I can throw insult at him


00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:20.309
and now he's open for insult cuz I just


00:54:20.319 --> 00:54:22.309
insulted myself. He knows I'm just


00:54:22.319 --> 00:54:23.829
kidding around, right? But I won't.


00:54:23.839 --> 00:54:24.870
Don't worry. He's looking at me like,


00:54:24.880 --> 00:54:27.750
"Okay, give it to me." No, I won't. Your


00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:29.109
eyes are not red. Why did you think


00:54:29.119 --> 00:54:31.670
they're red?


00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:33.910
They're nice and bright.


00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:36.950
Yeah.


00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:39.829
Eyes are bigger than usual.


00:54:39.839 --> 00:54:43.670
They're better to see me with, right?


00:54:43.680 --> 00:54:45.349
Okay. So, you're doing a great job


00:54:45.359 --> 00:54:46.549
except for the part where you're on the


00:54:46.559 --> 00:54:47.990
phone. I had to reprimand you and all


00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:50.150
that. Okay. So, let me see. Uh,


00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:52.870
flirting, surprise, joke. Okay. Catch


00:54:52.880 --> 00:54:56.309
them off guard. Insult you. Okay. Wow. A


00:54:56.319 --> 00:54:58.150
lot of people in the in the chat, but I


00:54:58.160 --> 00:54:59.030
don't think they like in the


00:54:59.040 --> 00:55:00.710
description. And I said, you know, if


00:55:00.720 --> 00:55:03.030
you just if you want, I'll insult you.


00:55:03.040 --> 00:55:05.270
You can insult me. You can insult Bobby.


00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:07.270
Nobody wants to try insult. I've taught


00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:09.430
you a lot of steps of insults. And I


00:55:09.440 --> 00:55:11.109
think the fundamentals I've already laid


00:55:11.119 --> 00:55:12.950
out for you. If you like, you can insult


00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:15.510
Bobby or I can insult him on your I


00:55:15.520 --> 00:55:17.270
could be like your surrogate insultter.


00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:19.510
I can insult him again if you like. And


00:55:19.520 --> 00:55:20.950
he's just going to just love it. You


00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:23.750
want another insult for Bobby? Okay,


00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:24.870
Bobby, what are you doing the rest of


00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:28.150
the day?


00:55:28.160 --> 00:55:29.750
You know, I'm not Where are you working?


00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:34.790
Who hired you? Someone hired you.


00:55:34.800 --> 00:55:37.270
You mean working like gardening and, you


00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:39.430
know, setting up the hose in the


00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:43.670
backyard?


00:55:43.680 --> 00:55:45.670
>> Editing what? What's more important than


00:55:45.680 --> 00:55:48.230
editing my show? The fastest growing


00:55:48.240 --> 00:55:51.190
comedy podcast in the world.


00:55:51.200 --> 00:55:53.030
>> Oh, your personal project. Okay, let's


00:55:53.040 --> 00:55:55.349
see. Is your personal projects going to


00:55:55.359 --> 00:55:58.309
make millions of dollars? Remember


00:55:58.319 --> 00:56:00.390
Amazon, Google, Nvidia at the very


00:56:00.400 --> 00:56:01.670
beginning when they were a startup, they


00:56:01.680 --> 00:56:03.349
made no money at all. And in fact, they


00:56:03.359 --> 00:56:04.710
had to borrow venture capital because


00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:06.390
they had no money. And look, someone


00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:08.710
believed in them and they made so much


00:56:08.720 --> 00:56:10.549
money. This is a startup. You have to


00:56:10.559 --> 00:56:12.230
really just give it your heart, which I


00:56:12.240 --> 00:56:14.710
know you're really invested in the in


00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.230
the show. I know you really love the


00:56:16.240 --> 00:56:17.270
show. Otherwise, you would have been out


00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:20.230
of here by now. Okay? See how I did


00:56:20.240 --> 00:56:23.030
that? I set up the foundation, then


00:56:23.040 --> 00:56:24.870
punch line. The punch line had a little


00:56:24.880 --> 00:56:26.710
grain of truth, but also it was the


00:56:26.720 --> 00:56:28.950
opposite of what is true. The last thing


00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:31.349
I want to do is get rid of Bobby. So,


00:56:31.359 --> 00:56:33.190
you see, you'd be out of here by now if


00:56:33.200 --> 00:56:34.390
you didn't have your heart in the show.


00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:36.390
You see, it has a grain of truth. Not


00:56:36.400 --> 00:56:38.390
malicious, clean. That's the


00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:45.109
requirement. Again, on the phone,


00:56:45.119 --> 00:56:47.510
the insult must amuse receiver. Well, we


00:56:47.520 --> 00:56:50.069
obviously failed today with Bobby. He's


00:56:50.079 --> 00:56:53.349
the only one here.


00:56:53.359 --> 00:56:56.309
How to insult a stranger. Okay, just


00:56:56.319 --> 00:56:58.710
like I did at Costco. So, right away


00:56:58.720 --> 00:57:00.390
when you see a stranger, you profile


00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:02.309
them. You see they're mad, they're


00:57:02.319 --> 00:57:04.549
upset, they look like they just had a


00:57:04.559 --> 00:57:06.630
fight. Don't insult them. They're not


00:57:06.640 --> 00:57:08.630
ready to receive your insult. It's just


00:57:08.640 --> 00:57:11.190
like if you see a girl at the gym and


00:57:11.200 --> 00:57:12.630
well, it's a little different. She might


00:57:12.640 --> 00:57:15.430
be working out. She's got her music on.


00:57:15.440 --> 00:57:17.430
I start flirting with her. She shuts off


00:57:17.440 --> 00:57:19.190
her music. I start talking to her. I


00:57:19.200 --> 00:57:21.589
talk to her about how I I lost all this.


00:57:21.599 --> 00:57:24.710
That's how I start. I lost 200 lb. And


00:57:24.720 --> 00:57:26.390
three months ago, I started a YouTube


00:57:26.400 --> 00:57:28.309
channel. I had one subscriber, me. Now I


00:57:28.319 --> 00:57:30.150
have 330,000.


00:57:30.160 --> 00:57:31.510
Then I get into that and then I'm like,


00:57:31.520 --> 00:57:32.950
"Oh my god, you're one of the most


00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:34.630
gorgeous women I've ever seen. I'm sure


00:57:34.640 --> 00:57:36.069
people tell you all the time. My mom


00:57:36.079 --> 00:57:37.990
would love you." I just start flirting.


00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:39.750
Blah blah blah blah blah. Just like


00:57:39.760 --> 00:57:41.589
that. So, it's a little different. So,


00:57:41.599 --> 00:57:43.990
someone at the gym can be distracted or


00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:45.829
not paying attention or upset and you


00:57:45.839 --> 00:57:47.349
can still flirt with them because what


00:57:47.359 --> 00:57:49.030
are you trying to do with a flirt?


00:57:49.040 --> 00:57:51.430
You're trying to surprise them. pleasant


00:57:51.440 --> 00:57:54.230
surprise, shock them with a surprise.


00:57:54.240 --> 00:57:55.349
But with an insult, you're not


00:57:55.359 --> 00:57:57.510
surprising them. You're trying to catch


00:57:57.520 --> 00:57:59.510
them off guard with a twist like a joke


00:57:59.520 --> 00:58:01.670
and just knock out punch. So, you're not


00:58:01.680 --> 00:58:02.950
going to do that with someone who's


00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:05.349
upset. They have to be open. So, you see


00:58:05.359 --> 00:58:07.190
someone's neutral, just walking. They're


00:58:07.200 --> 00:58:09.829
in an elevator elevator comedy show.


00:58:09.839 --> 00:58:11.750
That didn't quite go well logistically


00:58:11.760 --> 00:58:13.510
cuz I had the Ray-B band glasses on. I'm


00:58:13.520 --> 00:58:14.789
going to try to ignore him. I'm not sure


00:58:14.799 --> 00:58:17.829
if he's still on the show. And uh you


00:58:17.839 --> 00:58:19.349
know so I was like eight nine people


00:58:19.359 --> 00:58:20.950
were in the elevator and I would insult


00:58:20.960 --> 00:58:22.549
all of them and they would be insulted


00:58:22.559 --> 00:58:25.670
and they would laugh but as an audience


00:58:25.680 --> 00:58:28.470
as a viewer it was hard to watch all of


00:58:28.480 --> 00:58:30.870
these people because the Ray-B band I'd


00:58:30.880 --> 00:58:32.710
go from person to person to person


00:58:32.720 --> 00:58:35.349
insult to insult and it kept moving


00:58:35.359 --> 00:58:37.109
around. It was like it would give you


00:58:37.119 --> 00:58:39.349
vertigo as a viewer. It was impossible


00:58:39.359 --> 00:58:40.789
to watch. It would have been good on


00:58:40.799 --> 00:58:43.109
audio. I didn't even [ __ ] think of


00:58:43.119 --> 00:58:45.109
that. It would have been great on audio.


00:58:45.119 --> 00:58:48.390
[ __ ] You see, because I'm just a a joke


00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:50.630
guy. I'm a story guy. I'm a creative


00:58:50.640 --> 00:58:52.710
guy. I'm not the technical guy. I didn't


00:58:52.720 --> 00:58:54.950
think of that. And just I did it maybe


00:58:54.960 --> 00:58:56.710
seven years ago. They had audio back


00:58:56.720 --> 00:58:58.789
then. [ __ ] Why didn't I know you back


00:58:58.799 --> 00:59:01.750
then? You were like 14.


00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:03.430
At 14, you'd be like, "Where are we


00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:05.750
going, mister?" Right. That would have


00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:09.589
been super weird. Like you say, weird.


00:59:09.599 --> 00:59:11.430
Come on, Bobby. We're going in the


00:59:11.440 --> 00:59:13.510
elevator and we're doing this [ __ ] Come


00:59:13.520 --> 00:59:17.910
on. We're going to make people laugh.


00:59:17.920 --> 00:59:19.430
Were you doing technical stuff when you


00:59:19.440 --> 00:59:20.870
were 14 or you didn't know what you were


00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:24.630
going to do at that point?


00:59:24.640 --> 00:59:26.470
>> Oh [ __ ] You were smart like that? What


00:59:26.480 --> 00:59:28.390
happened?


00:59:28.400 --> 00:59:31.990
>> And you were doing all that stuff.


00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:33.910
>> Wow. So you were a prodigy but then you


00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:36.069
fell down obviously.


00:59:36.079 --> 00:59:38.870
See how I try to do that? But he knows I


00:59:38.880 --> 00:59:40.470
don't mean that and he knows I'm not


00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:42.390
being malicious. I'm just setting up


00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:44.390
foundation and punchline. At the same


00:59:44.400 --> 00:59:46.789
time, I think he's he's he's very


00:59:46.799 --> 00:59:48.390
serious,


00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:50.390
which is okay. You're not as serious as


00:59:50.400 --> 00:59:51.750
you were when you came here three months


00:59:51.760 --> 00:59:54.309
ago. Aren't you glad that you met me?


00:59:54.319 --> 00:59:56.150
You were so like uptight three months


00:59:56.160 --> 00:59:58.069
ago. You're still really uptight, but


00:59:58.079 --> 01:00:00.390
not as much as you were. Now you have a


01:00:00.400 --> 01:00:02.710
better sense of humor thanks to me. You


01:00:02.720 --> 01:00:05.190
owe me your life.


01:00:05.200 --> 01:00:08.390
You see? So, what I did was I made a


01:00:08.400 --> 01:00:10.870
fake. I made used my imagination. I


01:00:10.880 --> 01:00:13.670
exaggerated. He owe me his life. But


01:00:13.680 --> 01:00:15.589
you're trying to be funny, so you want a


01:00:15.599 --> 01:00:17.430
little twist at the end. Catch him off


01:00:17.440 --> 01:00:18.549
guard. He didn't think I was going to


01:00:18.559 --> 01:00:20.710
say, "You owe me your life." Right? He


01:00:20.720 --> 01:00:21.750
was going to think I was going to say


01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:23.670
something like, "Aren't you grateful


01:00:23.680 --> 01:00:25.990
that you met me?" Something straight.


01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:28.230
But then I I threw it out there really


01:00:28.240 --> 01:00:30.309
far. That's what you do. You use


01:00:30.319 --> 01:00:32.150
something like that, a fake story. You


01:00:32.160 --> 01:00:35.190
make something up, you profile, and just


01:00:35.200 --> 01:00:37.109
like that. So now you don't you don't do


01:00:37.119 --> 01:00:39.510
that stuff anymore. The coffee is good.


01:00:39.520 --> 01:00:41.910
Fantastic. There's Costa Rican beans. We


01:00:41.920 --> 01:00:43.670
still have some of those. But the next I


01:00:43.680 --> 01:00:46.390
bought a bag of Colombian beans. It's a


01:00:46.400 --> 01:00:47.750
new brand new bag. They never had at


01:00:47.760 --> 01:00:49.430
Trader Joe's. The Colombian beans. I


01:00:49.440 --> 01:00:51.670
can't wait to start trying them. They


01:00:51.680 --> 01:00:54.390
had a Colombian uh coffee beans like a


01:00:54.400 --> 01:00:57.030
year ago. It was not good. So, I don't


01:00:57.040 --> 01:00:58.470
buy those anywhere. They still have it.


01:00:58.480 --> 01:01:01.109
This is a brand new one from Colombia.


01:01:01.119 --> 01:01:02.390
Why can't they have the girls from


01:01:02.400 --> 01:01:04.390
Colombia? Of course, I wouldn't. You


01:01:04.400 --> 01:01:05.750
know, I had a girlfriend from Colombia


01:01:05.760 --> 01:01:07.589
years ago when I was a kid. I was like


01:01:07.599 --> 01:01:10.710
20 and um she didn't know any English.


01:01:10.720 --> 01:01:12.789
So when she left me, she wrote me a


01:01:12.799 --> 01:01:15.109
letter in Spanish like, "I'm sorry. Have


01:01:15.119 --> 01:01:17.670
a good life." And so I had someone I was


01:01:17.680 --> 01:01:20.950
at the Oviet library and I looked up my


01:01:20.960 --> 01:01:23.030
email back a million years ago. You


01:01:23.040 --> 01:01:24.870
didn't have to have an ID. You go in and


01:01:24.880 --> 01:01:26.710
I looked up my email and she emailed it


01:01:26.720 --> 01:01:28.309
to me and I didn't know a word of


01:01:28.319 --> 01:01:30.470
Spanish. And she was gone and I had this


01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:32.710
letter. Oh man, I missed her. She just


01:01:32.720 --> 01:01:34.549
had left. And I had someone at the


01:01:34.559 --> 01:01:36.549
library read it to me because they knew


01:01:36.559 --> 01:01:38.309
Spanish. I was just sitting there


01:01:38.319 --> 01:01:41.030
crying. I wish I still You don't care,


01:01:41.040 --> 01:01:45.349
huh? That doesn't Okay, hold on.


01:01:45.359 --> 01:01:49.750
Okay. Um,


01:01:49.760 --> 01:01:52.950
see that foundation punch line twist.


01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:56.150
Just like that. Okay. Was that good? You


01:01:56.160 --> 01:01:57.910
learning today? What have you learned


01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:00.789
about insults? Absolutely nothing.


01:02:00.799 --> 01:02:02.150
You know, I think you've learned a lot


01:02:02.160 --> 01:02:03.750
in the three months you've been here.


01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:06.549
So, even if you one day, which you're


01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:07.990
not going to because this is going to do


01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:09.430
very well and you're going to want to be


01:02:09.440 --> 01:02:12.309
here forever. Um, frightening thought,


01:02:12.319 --> 01:02:16.150
right? But, um, you've learned a lot.


01:02:16.160 --> 01:02:18.710
So, what whatever studio you go to,


01:02:18.720 --> 01:02:20.710
whichever editors, I think you've


01:02:20.720 --> 01:02:23.510
absorbed at least half of what I've told


01:02:23.520 --> 01:02:26.390
you, at least half, which is a lot, more


01:02:26.400 --> 01:02:29.270
than my kids. And so when you go into a


01:02:29.280 --> 01:02:31.510
room full of editors, you know more than


01:02:31.520 --> 01:02:33.750
them because you've even admitted and I


01:02:33.760 --> 01:02:35.430
even knew it myself that film school


01:02:35.440 --> 01:02:36.710
didn't teach you all the stuff that I've


01:02:36.720 --> 01:02:38.309
taught you, right? Oh, you thought it


01:02:38.319 --> 01:02:39.910
was going to be Oh, right. You shouldn't


01:02:39.920 --> 01:02:41.109
have seen his face. He thought I was


01:02:41.119 --> 01:02:43.750
going to say something bad. Um, they


01:02:43.760 --> 01:02:44.950
don't they don't teach you this stuff.


01:02:44.960 --> 01:02:47.109
This is like street style thug [ __ ] that


01:02:47.119 --> 01:02:49.750
I'm teaching you. But about comedy, they


01:02:49.760 --> 01:02:51.829
don't teach you comedy. And the comedy


01:02:51.839 --> 01:02:53.349
that I've taught you, even comedians


01:02:53.359 --> 01:02:55.109
don't know the comedy, the style, the


01:02:55.119 --> 01:02:56.870
nuances, the dynamics of comedy that


01:02:56.880 --> 01:02:58.549
I've taught you that now you know. And


01:02:58.559 --> 01:03:01.109
comedy and drama, they're first cousins.


01:03:01.119 --> 01:03:04.069
So now you go into any film, dramatic,


01:03:04.079 --> 01:03:07.670
thriller, mystery, now you know the


01:03:07.680 --> 01:03:10.309
nuances of comedy, you know about all


01:03:10.319 --> 01:03:13.030
the stuff that goes into it. The other


01:03:13.040 --> 01:03:14.630
editors there, you'll have such an


01:03:14.640 --> 01:03:17.750
advantage over all of them. That is


01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:19.349
considering if you remember the stuff


01:03:19.359 --> 01:03:21.589
that I've taught you. I do know Tommy


01:03:21.599 --> 01:03:22.950
didn't learn a damn thing the three


01:03:22.960 --> 01:03:24.549
months he was here. He was very


01:03:24.559 --> 01:03:26.630
stubborn. He didn't want to. He thought


01:03:26.640 --> 01:03:28.230
he knew everything. But that's okay.


01:03:28.240 --> 01:03:29.990
Young people sometimes are like that.


01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:32.470
But the thing is


01:03:32.480 --> 01:03:37.750
far far from the case.


01:03:37.760 --> 01:03:39.430
Just like you have to be open to receive


01:03:39.440 --> 01:03:41.750
insult. You have to be open to receive a


01:03:41.760 --> 01:03:44.069
insult. You have to be open to receive


01:03:44.079 --> 01:03:46.309
instruction. And he's probably thinking,


01:03:46.319 --> 01:03:48.789
"Who the [ __ ] are you? If you were if


01:03:48.799 --> 01:03:50.470
you were somebody, you'd already have


01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:53.190
made it. Well, no. Life is a crapshoot


01:03:53.200 --> 01:03:55.430
like Dyson in Vegas. You know, some


01:03:55.440 --> 01:03:57.270
people make it. Some people have no


01:03:57.280 --> 01:03:58.789
talent at all, but they're living on top


01:03:58.799 --> 01:04:00.470
of the hill in a $10 million house


01:04:00.480 --> 01:04:02.630
because they're connected. So, it's just


01:04:02.640 --> 01:04:04.549
a crapshoot. It's about luck and fate,


01:04:04.559 --> 01:04:06.230
and you never know. You have people who


01:04:06.240 --> 01:04:08.789
don't have a lot of talent who are doing


01:04:08.799 --> 01:04:11.829
really well. So, life is a crapshoot. I


01:04:11.839 --> 01:04:13.670
talk about about my depression, all that


01:04:13.680 --> 01:04:15.750
stuff. There's reasons why I'm here and


01:04:15.760 --> 01:04:18.870
not where I should be by now. But that's


01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:21.029
no reason for him not to have taken my


01:04:21.039 --> 01:04:23.109
instruction and listened because it made


01:04:23.119 --> 01:04:24.789
sense the stuff I'm teaching you right


01:04:24.799 --> 01:04:26.630
about comedy and stuff. And you see how


01:04:26.640 --> 01:04:28.390
I'm making people laugh over and over


01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:30.390
thousands of times. So you're thinking,


01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:32.150
"Wow, he knows some [ __ ] Let me listen


01:04:32.160 --> 01:04:34.549
to him." And you do for the most part.


01:04:34.559 --> 01:04:35.910
And I don't know how much of it you


01:04:35.920 --> 01:04:37.910
retain, but I think you retain a good


01:04:37.920 --> 01:04:40.309
portion of it, which is more than any


01:04:40.319 --> 01:04:43.829
other editor would know. So, in other


01:04:43.839 --> 01:04:45.589
words, you owe me is what I'm trying to


01:04:45.599 --> 01:04:47.670
say.


01:04:47.680 --> 01:04:50.230
Okay, that's a fake laugh. I can tell.


01:04:50.240 --> 01:04:52.150
Wow, a lot of people here. Fantastic.


01:04:52.160 --> 01:04:54.069
Oh, I'm loving it. Okay, look, just go


01:04:54.079 --> 01:04:56.549
in the chat. Just if you want, I won't


01:04:56.559 --> 01:04:58.950
insult you. I promise I'll insult like


01:04:58.960 --> 01:05:00.710
whoever you tell me. Just give me like a


01:05:00.720 --> 01:05:02.950
name. I'll insult that person. Give me a


01:05:02.960 --> 01:05:04.549
name of a person. I don't even have to


01:05:04.559 --> 01:05:07.910
know how old they are or who they are or


01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:10.470
what they do. Just give me a name of a


01:05:10.480 --> 01:05:12.630
person and I'll insult him. All I need


01:05:12.640 --> 01:05:15.990
is a name. A first name. Give me a first


01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:17.750
name. Anyone? There's a lot of people in


01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:19.589
chat more than usual, right? It's


01:05:19.599 --> 01:05:24.870
blowing up, right? Yes or no?


01:05:24.880 --> 01:05:26.470
Oh, it's just because I'm not wearing my


01:05:26.480 --> 01:05:30.309
reading glasses. Okay. I saw a lot more


01:05:30.319 --> 01:05:32.230
than it was. But just right now, I


01:05:32.240 --> 01:05:33.990
blinked and my eyes cleared up and I


01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:36.549
see. But that's not bad. we'll get our


01:05:36.559 --> 01:05:38.950
usual hours and you know YouTube will


01:05:38.960 --> 01:05:41.750
give us onethird of that. So they're


01:05:41.760 --> 01:05:44.710
just so [ __ ] shady. That's why audio


01:05:44.720 --> 01:05:46.470
is the way to go. Every show is with


01:05:46.480 --> 01:05:48.230
audio now because they know audio is


01:05:48.240 --> 01:05:50.950
legit. Audio does not cheat you. Audio


01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:52.470
on audio they don't cheat you. They


01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:54.390
don't play games like [ __ ] YouTube.


01:05:54.400 --> 01:05:55.910
They're straight. They give you your


01:05:55.920 --> 01:06:00.470
time. The [ __ ] They don't like such a


01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:02.870
[ __ ] scam this YouTube. So last


01:06:02.880 --> 01:06:04.789
Friday we had 35 hours. You saw the


01:06:04.799 --> 01:06:07.270
graph, 35 hours of watch time. They gave


01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:10.470
us 13 hours. 13. [ __ ] I already knew we


01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:13.190
were being shortch changed. But now I


01:06:13.200 --> 01:06:14.870
had proof of it. And they don't give a


01:06:14.880 --> 01:06:16.710
[ __ ] if you have proof of that because


01:06:16.720 --> 01:06:18.950
they know you still can't sue them. You


01:06:18.960 --> 01:06:21.109
still can't do [ __ ] about it because I


01:06:21.119 --> 01:06:23.349
gave this example about the root canal.


01:06:23.359 --> 01:06:25.430
So if you have monetary damages that you


01:06:25.440 --> 01:06:27.029
can prove, if you go get a root canal,


01:06:27.039 --> 01:06:28.470
you pay 2,000, they [ __ ] up your root


01:06:28.480 --> 01:06:32.069
canal, you can show you lost $2,000.


01:06:32.079 --> 01:06:34.230
I went to law school, but I cannot even


01:06:34.240 --> 01:06:36.470
I I will lose that case against YouTube


01:06:36.480 --> 01:06:39.109
because I cannot prove how much we lost.


01:06:39.119 --> 01:06:41.589
I It's speculative. Speculative damages


01:06:41.599 --> 01:06:43.589
is a loser. You can't prove that we lost


01:06:43.599 --> 01:06:45.510
a million, 10 million, 100 million, a


01:06:45.520 --> 01:06:48.710
dollar specul. And they know that [ __ ]


01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:50.630
That's not You know what? [ __ ] you. You


01:06:50.640 --> 01:06:53.589
had 35 hours on Friday.


01:06:53.599 --> 01:06:55.349
They just gave us three hours for the


01:06:55.359 --> 01:06:57.990
other day. And I know one show got five


01:06:58.000 --> 01:06:59.589
and a half hours, but they just gave us


01:06:59.599 --> 01:07:01.349
three hours. Like, [ __ ] you here. Three


01:07:01.359 --> 01:07:02.470
hours. What are you going to do about


01:07:02.480 --> 01:07:06.069
it? [ __ ] I've never resented them more,


01:07:06.079 --> 01:07:08.309
you know? And they're just a million


01:07:08.319 --> 01:07:09.589
dollar company. They don't have to be


01:07:09.599 --> 01:07:13.029
that way, right? No. Why? Why be that


01:07:13.039 --> 01:07:14.710
way? Because they don't want to. This is


01:07:14.720 --> 01:07:15.990
part of our meeting, our channel


01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:18.549
strategy. So, they just don't want us to


01:07:18.559 --> 01:07:20.549
mon they want to pu push off our


01:07:20.559 --> 01:07:23.029
monetizing as far as possible. They know


01:07:23.039 --> 01:07:25.109
we have 300,000 subscribers from


01:07:25.119 --> 01:07:27.990
Vietnam, Pakistan, Indonesia, Hong Kong,


01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:29.990
and they're not going to make money off


01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:32.309
international people. They don't mind


01:07:32.319 --> 01:07:35.430
getting promotion campaign money upfront


01:07:35.440 --> 01:07:39.829
and giving the shorts to those people,


01:07:39.839 --> 01:07:41.750
but they don't want to give ads to those


01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:42.870
people. They want to stay in the


01:07:42.880 --> 01:07:45.109
American market and do the American ads.


01:07:45.119 --> 01:07:46.870
So, the algorithm knows that it's by


01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:49.349
design. They want to push off other


01:07:49.359 --> 01:07:52.230
[ __ ] you know. Oh, we had 2%


01:07:52.240 --> 01:07:54.549
American market on some videos up to 15


01:07:54.559 --> 01:07:58.150
to 20%. We're getting there. But as time


01:07:58.160 --> 01:07:59.990
goes by, I know we're all monetized to


01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:01.270
YouTube. I don't really give a [ __ ]


01:08:01.280 --> 01:08:03.589
about YouTube. Like audio now. Audio


01:08:03.599 --> 01:08:05.109
everything now that I'm concentrating


01:08:05.119 --> 01:08:06.870
on, all the book readings we're about to


01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:08.950
do, all the stuff we're going to do,


01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:10.789
we'll do YouTube. But you know what? I


01:08:10.799 --> 01:08:14.789
just audio Apple podcast connect. Do you


01:08:14.799 --> 01:08:17.030
know about that? How come we're not on


01:08:17.040 --> 01:08:20.149
it already?


01:08:20.159 --> 01:08:22.390
No. I just had to do it last night and


01:08:22.400 --> 01:08:24.229
go on there and subscribe to Apple


01:08:24.239 --> 01:08:27.269
Podcast Connect myself and I'm the joke


01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:28.709
guy. I got to do jokes and the


01:08:28.719 --> 01:08:30.390
technical. How come we didn't already do


01:08:30.400 --> 01:08:32.870
it? It's okay because now we are


01:08:32.880 --> 01:08:34.709
building up. We're in every country of


01:08:34.719 --> 01:08:37.590
the of the world and Apple podcast.


01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:39.829
We're huge now. If you notice Google


01:08:39.839 --> 01:08:42.149
Chrome, we have more downloads from


01:08:42.159 --> 01:08:45.030
Google Chrome. You know why? Because of


01:08:45.040 --> 01:08:47.990
YouTube videos. So Google Chrome right


01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:50.309
now we're number one Google Chrome


01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:52.229
because of all the YouTube videos. But


01:08:52.239 --> 01:08:53.990
now did you know Bobby we can put all


01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:56.870
our videos on Apple Podcast Connect. So


01:08:56.880 --> 01:08:58.950
once we do that we're going to Apple


01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:01.110
podcast is like at least four or five


01:09:01.120 --> 01:09:03.189
times more than Google Chrome. So once


01:09:03.199 --> 01:09:09.749
we put all our videos on Apple Podcast


01:09:09.759 --> 01:09:11.510
once we do the book reading on how to


01:09:11.520 --> 01:09:14.550
prevent mass shootings boom that's to a


01:09:14.560 --> 01:09:16.309
thousand downloads. We're monetized.


01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:18.070
Once we get a,000 downloads a month,


01:09:18.080 --> 01:09:20.630
which we're about to, um, we'll go to


01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:23.910
20,000. I texted you, right? 20,000


01:09:23.920 --> 01:09:25.910
downloads is megaphone, which is invite


01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:28.309
only. Magic number. 20,000 downloads a


01:09:28.319 --> 01:09:30.070
month. Boom. Megaphone. You know who


01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:34.149
megaphone is, right? Joe Rogan,


01:09:34.159 --> 01:09:37.349
don't you Google [ __ ]


01:09:37.359 --> 01:09:39.189
No. But don't you like you're you're the


01:09:39.199 --> 01:09:40.470
technical guy. You're the technical


01:09:40.480 --> 01:09:42.390
department. Don't you like, you know,


01:09:42.400 --> 01:09:44.070
when we get really big, are we going to


01:09:44.080 --> 01:09:45.590
stay with Podbean? Where are we going to


01:09:45.600 --> 01:09:48.550
go? Which one? No. Right. You do more


01:09:48.560 --> 01:09:50.550
than Tommy. Thank God. Oh my god. He did


01:09:50.560 --> 01:09:52.950
nothing. But uh he just would come in.


01:09:52.960 --> 01:09:55.189
This was his jo o. Sometimes though, you


01:09:55.199 --> 01:09:56.870
just like want to go. Like after this


01:09:56.880 --> 01:09:59.990
live stream, you just want to go.


01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.310
>> You had a short like the Boo Binder one.


01:10:02.320 --> 01:10:04.070
There's no outro. It's been a week now


01:10:04.080 --> 01:10:05.669
and I brought it to your attention. It


01:10:05.679 --> 01:10:07.830
needs an outro and I need to put it on.


01:10:07.840 --> 01:10:09.669
Right. All you have to do is add an


01:10:09.679 --> 01:10:11.189
outro to it and I'll put it on. You


01:10:11.199 --> 01:10:16.390
know, over a week now it's had no outro.


01:10:16.400 --> 01:10:17.990
I'm pretty sure it has no outro. I


01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:19.830
didn't see it.


01:10:19.840 --> 01:10:22.630
Okay. But the blurry one with Taylor,


01:10:22.640 --> 01:10:23.990
there's nothing we can do about that


01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:26.630
except switch off to have just show her


01:10:26.640 --> 01:10:28.550
the whole time, right? Which we haven't


01:10:28.560 --> 01:10:31.669
done yet. Okay. Well, if you like that


01:10:31.679 --> 01:10:34.149
joke, we can do that because the blurry,


01:10:34.159 --> 01:10:35.669
you had to know deep in your heart. I


01:10:35.679 --> 01:10:37.270
wasn't going to like the blurry. Why we


01:10:37.280 --> 01:10:38.870
have nice cameras? Because we don't want


01:10:38.880 --> 01:10:41.189
blurry. We want the channels to be see


01:10:41.199 --> 01:10:43.270
how we have professional quality [ __ ]


01:10:43.280 --> 01:10:45.830
Okay.


01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:48.070
Okay. Catch him off guard. Twist. Punch


01:10:48.080 --> 01:10:50.070
line has to hit hard. Insult has to hit


01:10:50.080 --> 01:10:52.630
hard. A joke can be a jab and still be


01:10:52.640 --> 01:10:54.310
funny, but insult you have to knock out.


01:10:54.320 --> 01:10:56.229
Okay. So, it has to be You can't try to


01:10:56.239 --> 01:10:59.350
insult someone and hold back. It's got


01:10:59.360 --> 01:11:02.149
to be try to knock them out. So, when I


01:11:02.159 --> 01:11:03.669
told Bobby about get out of the camera,


01:11:03.679 --> 01:11:05.110
I'm talking about someone I love. You


01:11:05.120 --> 01:11:07.830
know, I wasn't pussyfooting it. I wasn't


01:11:07.840 --> 01:11:10.149
like tippytoing, you know, if you can


01:11:10.159 --> 01:11:12.149
please. you know, it wouldn't have been


01:11:12.159 --> 01:11:14.950
funny, you know. So, yes, it was nice


01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:18.229
and not harmful and uh clean, but I like


01:11:18.239 --> 01:11:19.430
get out of the way. I'm talking about


01:11:19.440 --> 01:11:22.229
someone I love. Knockout punch. Okay.


01:11:22.239 --> 01:11:25.110
So, and I knew he was he's he has a


01:11:25.120 --> 01:11:28.229
sense of humor. Thank God.


01:11:28.239 --> 01:11:29.910
Not that he's been with me. I'm training


01:11:29.920 --> 01:11:32.870
him to have a sense of humor.


01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:35.669
First day, my wife, these guys have no


01:11:35.679 --> 01:11:38.070
humor at all. What am I going to do?


01:11:38.080 --> 01:11:40.550
But, okay. So, Bobb's finally coming


01:11:40.560 --> 01:11:42.870
around. Okay, he's getting there. I'm


01:11:42.880 --> 01:11:44.950
happy with You can see he can see the


01:11:44.960 --> 01:11:46.550
path. He can see the light to monet


01:11:46.560 --> 01:11:48.149
monetizing.


01:11:48.159 --> 01:11:49.430
What kind of car you going to get? Brand


01:11:49.440 --> 01:11:51.750
new Corolla


01:11:51.760 --> 01:11:53.430
Camry. Oh, I'm going to figure it out.


01:11:53.440 --> 01:11:57.590
The mystery guy. Not going to tell me.


01:11:57.600 --> 01:12:03.750
I just work with him.


01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:05.110
He could have been like, "Range Rover,


01:12:05.120 --> 01:12:07.189
man." African partner would been like,


01:12:07.199 --> 01:12:09.189
"Fuck yeah, man. leather. Nappa leather,


01:12:09.199 --> 01:12:12.070
man. Beige leather.


01:12:12.080 --> 01:12:15.830
Figure it out. Okay.


01:12:15.840 --> 01:12:18.310
African guy was so cool. I'd go with him


01:12:18.320 --> 01:12:19.910
to like concerts. I'd invite him to the


01:12:19.920 --> 01:12:21.990
Phil Harmonic. He would sit next to me.


01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:25.430
He would make me feel so cool. He was 69


01:12:25.440 --> 01:12:28.149
strapping.


01:12:28.159 --> 01:12:30.790
The [ __ ] did John do to me? Oh, you like


01:12:30.800 --> 01:12:32.709
that gay [ __ ] when I do that [ __ ] Okay.


01:12:32.719 --> 01:12:36.310
You like that [ __ ] It's funny.


01:12:36.320 --> 01:12:38.950
Why was that funny right now?


01:12:38.960 --> 01:12:41.510
Because you see, threw a little twist.


01:12:41.520 --> 01:12:43.430
Caught him off guard. Talked about the


01:12:43.440 --> 01:12:45.510
African guy. Look at me looking good,


01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:47.189
right? I talked about the African guy


01:12:47.199 --> 01:12:50.149
and I'm implying that, you know, I loved


01:12:50.159 --> 01:12:52.310
him in that kind of way. That's a little


01:12:52.320 --> 01:12:54.470
twist, right? He wasn't expecting that.


01:12:54.480 --> 01:12:57.669
It was caught him off guard and he truly


01:12:57.679 --> 01:13:00.630
was amused. But now that's what you got


01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:02.070
to do. You have to make sure the


01:13:02.080 --> 01:13:04.870
receiver is open to receive whether the


01:13:04.880 --> 01:13:07.189
the joke or the insult. I I would never


01:13:07.199 --> 01:13:09.669
go to the Nazi neighbor or any or the


01:13:09.679 --> 01:13:12.149
Filipino that I pushed over the human


01:13:12.159 --> 01:13:14.790
cockroach looking woman. I would never


01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:16.790
go to him and even talk to him. And if I


01:13:16.800 --> 01:13:18.709
ever said something to him, it would be


01:13:18.719 --> 01:13:21.350
in a malicious way. I would want to say


01:13:21.360 --> 01:13:23.270
something bad to them because you're not


01:13:23.280 --> 01:13:24.870
trying to make someone laugh if you


01:13:24.880 --> 01:13:26.790
don't like them. You have to like


01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:29.669
someone. I like people in general. I


01:13:29.679 --> 01:13:32.470
love the world. Love everything. I can't


01:13:32.480 --> 01:13:34.790
wait till this is over. Get him the [ __ ]


01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:36.229
out of here. He wants to go let him go


01:13:36.239 --> 01:13:37.669
home. Let him do his gardening or


01:13:37.679 --> 01:13:38.950
whatever. And I'm going to go to the


01:13:38.960 --> 01:13:41.110
gym. Even though he should just work on


01:13:41.120 --> 01:13:43.030
this show all day so we can get bigger


01:13:43.040 --> 01:13:48.390
and faster every day. We we miss out.


01:13:48.400 --> 01:13:50.310
Okay.


01:13:50.320 --> 01:13:51.830
You know, we have to we have to get


01:13:51.840 --> 01:13:53.270
going. I'm not getting any younger. He's


01:13:53.280 --> 01:13:55.430
only 23, right? He's like, "I'll be


01:13:55.440 --> 01:13:57.990
[ __ ] rich by the time I'm 25. the


01:13:58.000 --> 01:14:00.390
[ __ ] will die. I'll get my


01:14:00.400 --> 01:14:01.990
percentage for life. This is my


01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:04.070
retirement plan. I just have to hold on


01:14:04.080 --> 01:14:06.950
until he dies. Right? That's how people


01:14:06.960 --> 01:14:09.189
think like when they're like, you know,


01:14:09.199 --> 01:14:10.790
they want to get their house. They want


01:14:10.800 --> 01:14:13.030
their parents to pass away. I'm not


01:14:13.040 --> 01:14:15.830
saying you do, but most people are like,


01:14:15.840 --> 01:14:18.470
right? And they they sell the [ __ ] And


01:14:18.480 --> 01:14:21.669
then you see like the like the distant


01:14:21.679 --> 01:14:24.470
family. They're never you've never seen


01:14:24.480 --> 01:14:26.390
them in the neighborhood. You never seen


01:14:26.400 --> 01:14:28.709
them ever on your block. All of a sudden


01:14:28.719 --> 01:14:31.590
when their parent is about to die, they


01:14:31.600 --> 01:14:33.830
come, they stay over. Oh, do you need


01:14:33.840 --> 01:14:35.430
some you need some milk? You need some


01:14:35.440 --> 01:14:36.870
tea? I'll go to the market for you.


01:14:36.880 --> 01:14:38.310
They're just waiting for them to die and


01:14:38.320 --> 01:14:41.030
they'll just come over every day waiting


01:14:41.040 --> 01:14:42.310
for their, you know, and then all of a


01:14:42.320 --> 01:14:44.070
sudden see the seal sign and their


01:14:44.080 --> 01:14:46.550
parent dies and they sell the [ __ ] They


01:14:46.560 --> 01:14:48.709
split it up, but the brothers and


01:14:48.719 --> 01:14:50.550
sisters, they fight over the [ __ ] This


01:14:50.560 --> 01:14:52.470
[ __ ] is mine. They don't want to give


01:14:52.480 --> 01:14:54.310
their brother or sister any of the [ __ ]


01:14:54.320 --> 01:14:58.070
They want to keep it all for themselves.


01:14:58.080 --> 01:15:00.149
Why do I love all people? People are


01:15:00.159 --> 01:15:03.750
bad. [ __ ] Now that I think of it, but


01:15:03.760 --> 01:15:07.189
still, you know what? Life is beautiful.


01:15:07.199 --> 01:15:10.470
And most people I enjoy people. That's


01:15:10.480 --> 01:15:12.709
why I insult them. [ __ ] want to


01:15:12.719 --> 01:15:15.430
insult every insult the world. I have a


01:15:15.440 --> 01:15:17.510
one short insulting the world, right? I


01:15:17.520 --> 01:15:20.070
want just go do that. But when we insult


01:15:20.080 --> 01:15:22.709
people when the road or we do the hobo


01:15:22.719 --> 01:15:25.189
and all that, just remember, long as we


01:15:25.199 --> 01:15:26.950
have their consent and they're okay with


01:15:26.960 --> 01:15:29.350
it, you're good. You have to be a fly on


01:15:29.360 --> 01:15:31.430
the wall. That interfere with my


01:15:31.440 --> 01:15:33.430
process. Don't do a Tommy because that


01:15:33.440 --> 01:15:36.630
hinders me. So hobo, especially hobo,


01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:39.110
hobo is all about freedom. You have to


01:15:39.120 --> 01:15:42.070
have freedom. Even just any acting role,


01:15:42.080 --> 01:15:44.390
you have to have that childlike quality


01:15:44.400 --> 01:15:46.070
or if you read about that, I'm sure you


01:15:46.080 --> 01:15:48.870
haven't. um have actor has to be


01:15:48.880 --> 01:15:51.110
childlike. It's all about freedom. Hobo


01:15:51.120 --> 01:15:53.350
is about freedom. So the other day we


01:15:53.360 --> 01:15:54.790
were doing the hobo. You know what you


01:15:54.800 --> 01:15:56.470
reminded me of? You know the characters


01:15:56.480 --> 01:15:58.709
at Universal Studios. You know how like


01:15:58.719 --> 01:15:59.990
they're wearing that Woody Whiteteer.


01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:01.350
They can barely see and they're being


01:16:01.360 --> 01:16:03.430
escorted around the studio. I felt like


01:16:03.440 --> 01:16:05.590
you were my escort escorting me around.


01:16:05.600 --> 01:16:08.229
I need a [ __ ] escort. You know, I'm


01:16:08.239 --> 01:16:09.590
talking to people and you're like, "Oh,


01:16:09.600 --> 01:16:11.669
by the way," I'm like, you know, after


01:16:11.679 --> 01:16:13.510
we had the sale, after we closed them,


01:16:13.520 --> 01:16:15.830
they consented. We did a film with them.


01:16:15.840 --> 01:16:17.430
We're done. It's like after you sleep


01:16:17.440 --> 01:16:18.790
with someone, you don't get out of bed


01:16:18.800 --> 01:16:20.790
and start flirting with them or I close


01:16:20.800 --> 01:16:23.270
them. I sold them a car. I don't start


01:16:23.280 --> 01:16:24.870
selling them after they're already sold.


01:16:24.880 --> 01:16:26.550
We're done. After we get consent, we


01:16:26.560 --> 01:16:28.630
film. We're done. Okay. Thank you. They


01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:31.350
have questions. I can take care of them.


01:16:31.360 --> 01:16:33.189
You don't have to go up to them and, you


01:16:33.199 --> 01:16:35.350
know, sell them some more, talk to them.


01:16:35.360 --> 01:16:37.350
You're getting it right. Okay. It's


01:16:37.360 --> 01:16:39.110
fine. For the first time, you were


01:16:39.120 --> 01:16:40.790
awesome because that was your very first


01:16:40.800 --> 01:16:42.470
time. I know that was a lot for you and


01:16:42.480 --> 01:16:44.310
you were saying that's a lot. And for


01:16:44.320 --> 01:16:45.830
me, I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is he


01:16:45.840 --> 01:16:47.430
talking about?" But I have to remember,


01:16:47.440 --> 01:16:49.110
I've been doing this for so many


01:16:49.120 --> 01:16:51.830
decades, not years, decades. It's like


01:16:51.840 --> 01:16:54.550
breathing air for me. So, so easy just


01:16:54.560 --> 01:16:56.950
to talk to people, [ __ ] with people, uh,


01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:59.189
joke with people, insult people. But it


01:16:59.199 --> 01:17:01.910
was the very first time that Bobby went


01:17:01.920 --> 01:17:03.910
out and we did a hobo shoot. So, we


01:17:03.920 --> 01:17:06.470
didn't even do insults. So, insults is


01:17:06.480 --> 01:17:08.070
going to be fun. People are going to


01:17:08.080 --> 01:17:09.590
laugh. People are going to enjoy.


01:17:09.600 --> 01:17:12.709
Remember, you're a fly in the wall. So,


01:17:12.719 --> 01:17:14.709
just like when John was across at


01:17:14.719 --> 01:17:17.750
Costco, he had the big lens. He was


01:17:17.760 --> 01:17:21.590
boring you almost done.


01:17:21.600 --> 01:17:24.950
Huh?


01:17:24.960 --> 01:17:27.270
It's all This is going to be timestamped


01:17:27.280 --> 01:17:29.430
with chapters. People can fast forward.


01:17:29.440 --> 01:17:31.830
Look at People are good. Don't worry.


01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:35.669
It's fine. So, okay, let's get


01:17:35.679 --> 01:17:36.870
But you don't want to do the private


01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:39.030
meeting thing. We can do the book


01:17:39.040 --> 01:17:40.790
reading. We can do I'm ready. I'm ready


01:17:40.800 --> 01:17:43.510
to do a a shoot. I'm ready to film all


01:17:43.520 --> 01:17:46.390
day today. But you want to go?


01:17:46.400 --> 01:17:49.430
Uh, I'm ready cuz we we can do so much.


01:17:49.440 --> 01:17:51.030
We could put on audio. We could just do


01:17:51.040 --> 01:17:52.709
it today. We could just do so much


01:17:52.719 --> 01:17:54.630
stuff. By the way, the the craziest


01:17:54.640 --> 01:17:57.430
poetry one that we did, the book two, I


01:17:57.440 --> 01:17:59.270
didn't like, first of all, I'm sure you


01:17:59.280 --> 01:18:00.870
thought I didn't like the way he filmed


01:18:00.880 --> 01:18:02.550
me, you know, and I complained about


01:18:02.560 --> 01:18:04.470
that one once before where he made me


01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:06.630
look orangey. I looked like I was 100


01:18:06.640 --> 01:18:08.550
years old, you know? I had the lights up


01:18:08.560 --> 01:18:10.470
in my face and it was like orangey and


01:18:10.480 --> 01:18:11.990
you could see all the lines in my face.


01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:14.229
You know what I'm talking about, right?


01:18:14.239 --> 01:18:16.229
Yeah. So, I didn't like that. But you


01:18:16.239 --> 01:18:17.830
see how it's popular? People like that


01:18:17.840 --> 01:18:19.590
crazy poetry. By the way, did you listen


01:18:19.600 --> 01:18:21.910
to it?


01:18:21.920 --> 01:18:24.390
The whole thing


01:18:24.400 --> 01:18:28.870
on audio


01:18:28.880 --> 01:18:30.870
YouTube only. You heard the beep beep


01:18:30.880 --> 01:18:33.189
beep the Spotify cloud every second. You


01:18:33.199 --> 01:18:35.350
weren't curious to see what it was all


01:18:35.360 --> 01:18:39.270
about. You didn't go on audio.


01:18:39.280 --> 01:18:41.110
Okay. So, no. The answer is no. Okay.


01:18:41.120 --> 01:18:42.870
Fine. That's what I thought. But I want


01:18:42.880 --> 01:18:44.390
to let you know if you go to the graph


01:18:44.400 --> 01:18:47.430
on Podbean and see when that came out,


01:18:47.440 --> 01:18:49.910
guess what happened? Look at me. I'll


01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:53.590
show you. Look at me. Spike. Spike


01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:56.550
straight up. So, Crazy Poetry came out.


01:18:56.560 --> 01:18:59.350
Spike. We've never had a spike straight


01:18:59.360 --> 01:19:01.830
up. So, people, it worked. People saw


01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:03.990
the Spotify cloud. They wanted to hear


01:19:04.000 --> 01:19:06.470
what the [ __ ] did he say? Because while


01:19:06.480 --> 01:19:08.550
I'm doing the YouTube and he's Spotify


01:19:08.560 --> 01:19:11.270
cloud, the the beeping was a little too


01:19:11.280 --> 01:19:13.030
loud. And my kids say it's because of my


01:19:13.040 --> 01:19:15.030
ringing in my ear. It wasn't really that


01:19:15.040 --> 01:19:16.790
loud. It seemed loud to me. Was it loud


01:19:16.800 --> 01:19:20.630
to you? The beeping was loud. Why did he


01:19:20.640 --> 01:19:22.550
do that? He does. He just sabotaged the


01:19:22.560 --> 01:19:24.149
[ __ ] He doesn't like He's like, "Fuck


01:19:24.159 --> 01:19:25.830
this guy. I'm going to I'm I know he's


01:19:25.840 --> 01:19:27.350
not going to like the beep too loud. Let


01:19:27.360 --> 01:19:29.110
me [ __ ] [ __ ] with him and put the


01:19:29.120 --> 01:19:31.510
beep really loud


01:19:31.520 --> 01:19:33.270
because he's he was good at what he did.


01:19:33.280 --> 01:19:34.709
Why would he do it loud? He's got to


01:19:34.719 --> 01:19:37.110
know that beeping was way too loud,


01:19:37.120 --> 01:19:39.189
right? So, my kids were wrong. It was


01:19:39.199 --> 01:19:42.709
loud. But you can mute it Spotify cloud,


01:19:42.719 --> 01:19:45.750
but because there's so many cuz I and


01:19:45.760 --> 01:19:47.910
watch when I'm doing the book reading


01:19:47.920 --> 01:19:49.990
while I'm doing it in the Spotify cloud


01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:51.910
and mute. I'm even saying, "Oh my god,


01:19:51.920 --> 01:19:53.750
this is crazy. Oh my god, I can't


01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:56.149
believe I wrote this shit." Right? Spike


01:19:56.159 --> 01:19:58.870
on audio spike. It's like so many


01:19:58.880 --> 01:20:01.830
downloads. So, so that's great. Remember


01:20:01.840 --> 01:20:04.310
I told you the analogy where a kid


01:20:04.320 --> 01:20:06.470
throws a pebble in the pond and that was


01:20:06.480 --> 01:20:08.550
us in audio and then the couple pebbles,


01:20:08.560 --> 01:20:10.310
couple ripples, three ripples, four


01:20:10.320 --> 01:20:12.709
ripples turns into a wave. It's getting


01:20:12.719 --> 01:20:14.870
there and you can feel it, right? You


01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:16.310
can feel it all of a sudden. Oh [ __ ]


01:20:16.320 --> 01:20:18.950
You see the downloads popping and um the


01:20:18.960 --> 01:20:21.990
more we put on there,


01:20:22.000 --> 01:20:23.830
the more people consume. It's not like


01:20:23.840 --> 01:20:26.550
the YouTube where YouTube manipulates


01:20:26.560 --> 01:20:28.790
the [ __ ] suppresses the views except


01:20:28.800 --> 01:20:30.709
shorts because they make money off that.


01:20:30.719 --> 01:20:32.310
So, you see how they put out the shorts?


01:20:32.320 --> 01:20:35.189
You put out a short 1,400 views. You see


01:20:35.199 --> 01:20:38.550
how they they keep down the long form.


01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:39.830
They keep it down because they know


01:20:39.840 --> 01:20:41.270
that's how you're going to monetize long


01:20:41.280 --> 01:20:45.189
form [ __ ] But anyway, so we'll


01:20:45.199 --> 01:20:48.310
get there. But and uh monetizing on uh


01:20:48.320 --> 01:20:50.870
audio is through the hosting provider


01:20:50.880 --> 01:20:53.510
and through Apple podcast and through


01:20:53.520 --> 01:20:56.790
Spotify. Did you know that with all the


01:20:56.800 --> 01:20:58.550
promotion placement and all that? And we


01:20:58.560 --> 01:21:00.950
didn't have to pay one penny for


01:21:00.960 --> 01:21:03.990
advertisement and audio. Not one penny


01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:06.229
because they're legit. They're legit.


01:21:06.239 --> 01:21:08.790
Not one [ __ ] penny. And it's going


01:21:08.800 --> 01:21:11.669
great. That's how you do it. That's how


01:21:11.679 --> 01:21:14.709
you know when something is legit.


01:21:14.719 --> 01:21:17.350
Okay, let me see if I tired of you,


01:21:17.360 --> 01:21:23.830
Bobby. Okay, let me see.


01:21:23.840 --> 01:21:25.510
Okay, it's better that you go do your


01:21:25.520 --> 01:21:27.110
gardening. I don't see you till Monday


01:21:27.120 --> 01:21:31.990
morning.


01:21:32.000 --> 01:21:33.430
I'm looking. I'm looking. I don't have


01:21:33.440 --> 01:21:35.270
my reading glasses. Wait, you're in such


01:21:35.280 --> 01:21:36.950
a hurry to go home? You know I can't pay


01:21:36.960 --> 01:21:38.310
you till Tuesday, right? I have to


01:21:38.320 --> 01:21:40.390
transfer some money. I have no money


01:21:40.400 --> 01:21:42.790
right now. You're working for a guy in


01:21:42.800 --> 01:21:52.070
this backyard. You can't expect a lot.


01:21:52.080 --> 01:21:58.629
Thank you.


01:21:58.639 --> 01:22:00.870
Okay, Bobby, it's up to you. You have


01:22:00.880 --> 01:22:04.390
any questions about insults?


01:22:04.400 --> 01:22:07.110
I'm going to put you on the spot. So, I


01:22:07.120 --> 01:22:08.229
don't think you've really been paying


01:22:08.239 --> 01:22:10.310
attention to my lessons, but I think you


01:22:10.320 --> 01:22:12.950
have for the most part. Name me three


01:22:12.960 --> 01:22:15.910
things that you need in a proper good


01:22:15.920 --> 01:22:31.750
insult.


01:22:31.760 --> 01:22:33.669
not hurtful. Okay, so I'm going to throw


01:22:33.679 --> 01:22:36.790
out multiple choice like a Scantron [ __ ]


01:22:36.800 --> 01:22:39.430
like you had back in school. Okay. So,


01:22:39.440 --> 01:22:41.669
for a good proper insult that works,


01:22:41.679 --> 01:22:43.669
that's successful,


01:22:43.679 --> 01:22:47.189
would you say a good proper insult


01:22:47.199 --> 01:22:52.390
should have a curse word or clean?


01:22:52.400 --> 01:22:54.470
Now, the receiver has to be open to


01:22:54.480 --> 01:22:57.110
receive the insult or it could be anyone


01:22:57.120 --> 01:23:01.350
in any mood at all.


01:23:01.360 --> 01:23:03.030
They have to be open. They have to be


01:23:03.040 --> 01:23:05.350
someone ready to receive. Just like a


01:23:05.360 --> 01:23:07.430
joke. You don't go up to someone at a


01:23:07.440 --> 01:23:09.990
funeral who just lost their loved one


01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:11.910
and tell them about a rabbi and a priest


01:23:11.920 --> 01:23:14.470
that went into in a bar to have a drink,


01:23:14.480 --> 01:23:16.149
right? Because it has to be proper. They


01:23:16.159 --> 01:23:19.510
have to be someone ready to receive the


01:23:19.520 --> 01:23:21.910
punchline, whether it's a joke or the


01:23:21.920 --> 01:23:25.830
knockout punch of a a twist of a insult


01:23:25.840 --> 01:23:27.669
or but that would be a good place to do


01:23:27.679 --> 01:23:30.470
it like a a funeral. You'd be like, you


01:23:30.480 --> 01:23:32.790
know, he was a nice guy. He was he was


01:23:32.800 --> 01:23:36.390
wonderful. a little cheap with money.


01:23:36.400 --> 01:23:37.510
Yeah, he doesn't have to worry about


01:23:37.520 --> 01:23:40.229
that anymore.


01:23:40.239 --> 01:23:43.030
Okay, so now Bobby, I'm gonna really put


01:23:43.040 --> 01:23:44.629
you on the spot. So, you've learned a


01:23:44.639 --> 01:23:46.149
little bit about insults because you


01:23:46.159 --> 01:23:47.430
haven't really been paying attention as


01:23:47.440 --> 01:23:49.189
much as I would have liked. I hope in


01:23:49.199 --> 01:23:52.629
the future master classes you really um


01:23:52.639 --> 01:23:54.950
pay more attention. Okay, so now catch


01:23:54.960 --> 01:24:00.070
them. Um just like with a a joke twist,


01:24:00.080 --> 01:24:02.470
anyone can learn how to do it. anyone.


01:24:02.480 --> 01:24:04.229
You have to follow the steps of a joke.


01:24:04.239 --> 01:24:06.870
One, two, foundation, punch line. Okay.


01:24:06.880 --> 01:24:12.070
So, now I want you to insult me. You can


01:24:12.080 --> 01:24:14.390
do it. Remember what I taught you. It's


01:24:14.400 --> 01:24:15.750
got to be clean. It's got to have a


01:24:15.760 --> 01:24:17.750
grain of truth. It has to be a little


01:24:17.760 --> 01:24:19.830
twist. Catch me off guard. Something I'm


01:24:19.840 --> 01:24:23.350
not expecting. So, anything. Whatever


01:24:23.360 --> 01:24:25.830
comes into your mind, just say it. As


01:24:25.840 --> 01:24:27.669
long as it's not a curse, as long as


01:24:27.679 --> 01:24:31.030
it's not vulgar. It could be about my I


01:24:31.040 --> 01:24:34.470
think I look great but I really don't.


01:24:34.480 --> 01:24:36.070
Has to have a little twist. Just say


01:24:36.080 --> 01:24:37.510
just say it. I know you're thinking it.


01:24:37.520 --> 01:24:39.270
I can see your thinking. I can see the


01:24:39.280 --> 01:24:40.870
process in your brain. You want to say


01:24:40.880 --> 01:24:45.750
it.


01:24:45.760 --> 01:24:49.350
Okay. Now remember a joke insult should


01:24:49.360 --> 01:24:51.270
be just like a joke. Foundation punch


01:24:51.280 --> 01:24:52.709
line. It could be we're going to end


01:24:52.719 --> 01:24:54.550
with this. Foundation punch line can be


01:24:54.560 --> 01:24:56.550
the same. It could be together in one


01:24:56.560 --> 01:24:59.030
line. So, it has to be with a grain of


01:24:59.040 --> 01:25:00.550
truth. It could be anything. Just throw


01:25:00.560 --> 01:25:02.709
it out there. You profile the person.


01:25:02.719 --> 01:25:05.510
So, if they're bald, if they uh didn't


01:25:05.520 --> 01:25:07.750
shave, if you think they're not


01:25:07.760 --> 01:25:10.149
hireable, nobody would hire them, they


01:25:10.159 --> 01:25:12.709
wouldn't pass a background check like


01:25:12.719 --> 01:25:17.189
me, right? Okay. See, so you set it up


01:25:17.199 --> 01:25:19.750
and then you pay off with a punchline


01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:21.910
with a little twist. Okay? It has to be


01:25:21.920 --> 01:25:26.229
not malicious, something, you know, not


01:25:26.239 --> 01:25:27.990
too good-hearted because you're trying


01:25:28.000 --> 01:25:29.750
to give them a little bit of a knockout


01:25:29.760 --> 01:25:32.709
punch, not a jab, like a like with a


01:25:32.719 --> 01:25:35.270
joke. So, this has been very rewarding


01:25:35.280 --> 01:25:37.350
for me and the people listening. You'll


01:25:37.360 --> 01:25:38.629
have timestamps and you'll have


01:25:38.639 --> 01:25:40.390
chapters. Look forward to our book


01:25:40.400 --> 01:25:43.510
reading on how to prevent mass


01:25:43.520 --> 01:25:46.390
shootings. So, it's a a story about a


01:25:46.400 --> 01:25:48.709
father. Check this out. Did you read it,


01:25:48.719 --> 01:25:51.910
by the way? It's in the MacBook.


01:25:51.920 --> 01:25:53.990
Okay. So, I'll tell you about it. What


01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:55.669
have you read? Okay. No problem. I'll


01:25:55.679 --> 01:25:57.350
tell you about it quickly. So, it's


01:25:57.360 --> 01:26:00.149
about a father who migrates. He's an


01:26:00.159 --> 01:26:02.390
immigrant from Eastern Europe and he has


01:26:02.400 --> 01:26:04.310
problems with his family and he has a


01:26:04.320 --> 01:26:06.870
little girl and he migrates here to uh


01:26:06.880 --> 01:26:09.189
central part of the US. And then he


01:26:09.199 --> 01:26:10.629
takes his little cute little daughter


01:26:10.639 --> 01:26:12.709
who he loves tremendously. He takes her


01:26:12.719 --> 01:26:14.950
to the zoo. there's a mass shooting at


01:26:14.960 --> 01:26:16.629
the zoo


01:26:16.639 --> 01:26:19.189
and she get his daughter gets killed in


01:26:19.199 --> 01:26:22.870
the story. So this man implements a way


01:26:22.880 --> 01:26:25.750
to prevent mass shootings


01:26:25.760 --> 01:26:27.750
and this is based on something that's


01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:30.790
real that's in the world that happens


01:26:30.800 --> 01:26:33.030
not in this extreme because obviously


01:26:33.040 --> 01:26:35.590
it's exaggerated conflict. It's a great


01:26:35.600 --> 01:26:38.550
story but it's something that happens.


01:26:38.560 --> 01:26:41.030
There's a military in this world that


01:26:41.040 --> 01:26:44.390
does some extent of what I took and


01:26:44.400 --> 01:26:47.750
exaggerated for the story, but that's


01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:50.229
based loosely on that. So, he implements


01:26:50.239 --> 01:26:52.550
a way to get rid of most mass shootings.


01:26:52.560 --> 01:26:54.470
And in the future, after this happens to


01:26:54.480 --> 01:26:57.110
his daughter, he actually um is


01:26:57.120 --> 01:27:00.470
imprisoned for for killing people, but


01:27:00.480 --> 01:27:03.030
um I'm not going to give it away, but he


01:27:03.040 --> 01:27:06.629
he manages to get rid of like 95% of all


01:27:06.639 --> 01:27:08.790
mass shootings in the world. And then


01:27:08.800 --> 01:27:10.790
there's copycat groups after he goes to


01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:12.709
prison. There's copycat groups that


01:27:12.719 --> 01:27:15.590
carry on his work, not only for uh


01:27:15.600 --> 01:27:17.910
preventing mass shootings by crazy lone


01:27:17.920 --> 01:27:20.550
wolves and stuff, but other types of


01:27:20.560 --> 01:27:23.669
copycat groups that branch off like to


01:27:23.679 --> 01:27:26.070
uh take care of producers and directors


01:27:26.080 --> 01:27:28.550
who steal material from people. There's


01:27:28.560 --> 01:27:30.470
copycat groups that go after those


01:27:30.480 --> 01:27:33.590
people. And it's funny. It's not real,


01:27:33.600 --> 01:27:35.830
but it's it's actually it's something


01:27:35.840 --> 01:27:38.629
that can work, but it cannot happen in


01:27:38.639 --> 01:27:41.990
America because in America you have um


01:27:42.000 --> 01:27:44.629
the constitution. The constitution says


01:27:44.639 --> 01:27:49.590
there's no parole and


01:27:49.600 --> 01:27:51.830
Okay. So, you did go to school. That's


01:27:51.840 --> 01:27:53.910
for a junior college dropout. I'm not


01:27:53.920 --> 01:27:56.550
bad. Right. So, exactly. And that's why


01:27:56.560 --> 01:27:59.350
you can't do what this character does in


01:27:59.360 --> 01:28:01.590
the story, but it makes for a great


01:28:01.600 --> 01:28:04.149
story. We're going to read How to


01:28:04.159 --> 01:28:06.629
Prevent Mass Shootings. It's called No


01:28:06.639 --> 01:28:09.430
More, a Father's Guide to Preventing


01:28:09.440 --> 01:28:11.830
Mass Shootings. And we'll do I think


01:28:11.840 --> 01:28:14.149
this is like 25 chapters, 18 chapters,


01:28:14.159 --> 01:28:16.709
whatever it is. We'll do one chapter.


01:28:16.719 --> 01:28:19.990
We'll cut it up. Oh,


01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:21.510
I've been talking to you like half the


01:28:21.520 --> 01:28:24.709
time and you haven't


01:28:24.719 --> 01:28:26.550
Don't tell me what to do. I'm like 30


01:28:26.560 --> 01:28:28.550
years older than you. Why do you do that


01:28:28.560 --> 01:28:31.430
on camera?


01:28:31.440 --> 01:28:32.950
It's okay. I've been talking to you to


01:28:32.960 --> 01:28:35.189
the whole time. Why are you so sensitive


01:28:35.199 --> 01:28:37.270
today?


01:28:37.280 --> 01:28:46.629
I'm glad you're feel


01:28:46.639 --> 01:28:48.870
so can tell you that um that's going to


01:28:48.880 --> 01:28:51.430
be fun for audio especially people


01:28:51.440 --> 01:28:53.510
really enjoy that. and YouTube will have


01:28:53.520 --> 01:28:57.030
the actual videos of that. And we'll


01:28:57.040 --> 01:28:59.510
we'll do the channel strategy meeting


01:28:59.520 --> 01:29:01.990
and we'll do uh promos. That's a good


01:29:02.000 --> 01:29:04.870
idea. And we'll do other things too.


01:29:04.880 --> 01:29:07.510
Other uh poetry and all kinds of things


01:29:07.520 --> 01:29:10.229
and and shorts if you know you ever get


01:29:10.239 --> 01:29:13.830
to the shorts. Um you have to show me


01:29:13.840 --> 01:29:15.750
that before you go, okay? So I can look


01:29:15.760 --> 01:29:17.510
at it.


01:29:17.520 --> 01:29:19.669
Okay. So that's about it. We covered


01:29:19.679 --> 01:29:21.590
insults and there's no there's no one


01:29:21.600 --> 01:29:24.950
asking about


01:29:24.960 --> 01:29:26.709
that's look there's more people than


01:29:26.719 --> 01:29:29.189
before. That's good. That's excellent.


01:29:29.199 --> 01:29:30.950
Okay. You see when we do it live there's


01:29:30.960 --> 01:29:33.830
more people who come on. So now you can


01:29:33.840 --> 01:29:35.270
review if you don't have a pen and


01:29:35.280 --> 01:29:36.709
paper. If you haven't written this stuff


01:29:36.719 --> 01:29:38.950
down, don't worry. We'll have the


01:29:38.960 --> 01:29:40.790
timestamps and the chapters. You can go


01:29:40.800 --> 01:29:42.229
back and you can review and the


01:29:42.239 --> 01:29:43.830
timestamps will have the chapters will


01:29:43.840 --> 01:29:45.990
have exactly where I talk about which


01:29:46.000 --> 01:29:47.750
part of the insult you need to work on


01:29:47.760 --> 01:29:49.510
and the craft of telling an insult,


01:29:49.520 --> 01:29:51.750
writing an insult and you can do it and


01:29:51.760 --> 01:29:53.189
remember you have to practice it. I've


01:29:53.199 --> 01:29:55.189
been doing it since I was 14. I've been


01:29:55.199 --> 01:29:58.550
doing it for 40 years, four decades. So


01:29:58.560 --> 01:30:00.470
it's like [ __ ] right. I'm like doing


01:30:00.480 --> 01:30:02.550
reverse cowgirl. I'm doing all kinds of


01:30:02.560 --> 01:30:04.550
[ __ ] Not standing yet, you know,


01:30:04.560 --> 01:30:06.470
[ __ ] but you still dream of doing


01:30:06.480 --> 01:30:09.189
that one day. Um my girl's a big girl.


01:30:09.199 --> 01:30:11.270
was hard just to even flip her over. You


01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:12.629
know, I had to build muscle just to


01:30:12.639 --> 01:30:15.510
attempt that. But, you know, 40 years of


01:30:15.520 --> 01:30:17.510
doing it, I'm really good at it. But


01:30:17.520 --> 01:30:20.470
somehow I feel like, you know, you have


01:30:20.480 --> 01:30:22.470
to really The most important thing of


01:30:22.480 --> 01:30:24.950
all is you have to find someone who's


01:30:24.960 --> 01:30:27.669
willing to receive. Someone who like


01:30:27.679 --> 01:30:29.990
doesn't really like you that much, who's


01:30:30.000 --> 01:30:33.350
just there just working like a jo o.


01:30:33.360 --> 01:30:35.510
They don't really care about you. I'm


01:30:35.520 --> 01:30:37.669
not talking about you.


01:30:37.679 --> 01:30:39.910
and uh maybe is not willing to receive


01:30:39.920 --> 01:30:42.229
more insults, you know, worried about


01:30:42.239 --> 01:30:45.350
his friend not on the show anymore, but


01:30:45.360 --> 01:30:47.750
I'm sure he'll be fine.


01:30:47.760 --> 01:30:50.870
You know, you have to more than anything


01:30:50.880 --> 01:30:53.430
insult a stranger, not someone you know


01:30:53.440 --> 01:30:55.510
or you work with or anything like that.


01:30:55.520 --> 01:30:58.070
I think a stranger will be able to


01:30:58.080 --> 01:31:00.149
receive it because they don't know you.


01:31:00.159 --> 01:31:02.870
They don't know enough to not like you.


01:31:02.880 --> 01:31:04.550
They don't have a impression of you


01:31:04.560 --> 01:31:07.030
other than what they see of you. You're


01:31:07.040 --> 01:31:09.750
uh happy golucky. They see you're giddy.


01:31:09.760 --> 01:31:12.709
You're smiling. They mirror you. You


01:31:12.719 --> 01:31:15.189
give them a little light-hearted. You


01:31:15.199 --> 01:31:16.870
have energy. Remember, just like the


01:31:16.880 --> 01:31:18.470
flirt, just like anything, just like


01:31:18.480 --> 01:31:19.990
sales, you have to have the energy.


01:31:20.000 --> 01:31:21.990
Remember cold calling, you have to have


01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:24.390
energy on the phone. If you don't have


01:31:24.400 --> 01:31:26.870
it, it's not going to be good. Have


01:31:26.880 --> 01:31:29.189
energy. You give them that insult. Try


01:31:29.199 --> 01:31:30.709
to knock them out with the twist at the


01:31:30.719 --> 01:31:33.350
end. Foundation punch line and know you


01:31:33.360 --> 01:31:35.669
guys can do it. Practice it. The first


01:31:35.679 --> 01:31:37.750
time you do it, it might not work.


01:31:37.760 --> 01:31:40.070
Second time, third time, I guarantee


01:31:40.080 --> 01:31:41.590
you, if you follow the steps I've


01:31:41.600 --> 01:31:44.229
provided, you will be telling insults,


01:31:44.239 --> 01:31:46.629
proper insults, clean insults,


01:31:46.639 --> 01:31:50.070
good-hearted ones, and have fun. Go out


01:31:50.080 --> 01:31:51.910
there, insult people, insult your mail


01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:54.629
carrier, insult the cashier, insult


01:31:54.639 --> 01:31:57.189
everyone. Don't insult your doctor. Tell


01:31:57.199 --> 01:31:58.870
them jokes, not insults, because they're


01:31:58.880 --> 01:32:01.030
about to like go and, you know, operate


01:32:01.040 --> 01:32:03.189
and [ __ ] You want them to be happy.


01:32:03.199 --> 01:32:05.030
Okay, guys.


01:32:05.040 --> 01:32:06.629
Not so happy with Bobby today, but


01:32:06.639 --> 01:32:08.790
hopefully I'll come back Monday and do


01:32:08.800 --> 01:32:11.350
do some actual work and, you know, go


01:32:11.360 --> 01:32:13.270
better. I'll try to forget about today.


01:32:13.280 --> 01:32:15.270
But of course, I'm joking. He's great.


01:32:15.280 --> 01:32:17.030
Remember, grain of truth and every


01:32:17.040 --> 01:32:19.669
insult, but stay away from the whole


01:32:19.679 --> 01:32:21.430
truth because the whole truth is never


01:32:21.440 --> 01:32:23.189
funny. You don't want to go there. You


01:32:23.199 --> 01:32:26.470
want to use your imagination to make up


01:32:26.480 --> 01:32:28.149
a story. Like you see someone on the


01:32:28.159 --> 01:32:30.229
road and you don't know anything about


01:32:30.239 --> 01:32:32.629
their life. you're profiling them and


01:32:32.639 --> 01:32:35.110
you want to give them an insult. You're


01:32:35.120 --> 01:32:36.629
in your car. They can't even hear it.


01:32:36.639 --> 01:32:38.229
You're just doing it for your kids or


01:32:38.239 --> 01:32:40.390
whoever's in the car occupant and just


01:32:40.400 --> 01:32:42.229
say, "Man, it looks like his uh wife


01:32:42.239 --> 01:32:45.350
just left him. He's drifting off. Maybe


01:32:45.360 --> 01:32:46.950
he had too many drinks. He shouldn't get


01:32:46.960 --> 01:32:49.590
behind the wheel. You know, look at him.


01:32:49.600 --> 01:32:51.350
I'm sure he just got served his divorce


01:32:51.360 --> 01:32:53.590
papers." Right? You just make up some


01:32:53.600 --> 01:32:56.310
[ __ ] Use your imagination. I know you


01:32:56.320 --> 01:32:58.149
can do it. Enjoy yourself. Keep


01:32:58.159 --> 01:33:00.629
practicing it. And it's too bad nobody


01:33:00.639 --> 01:33:02.470
tried to insult me because I wanted to


01:33:02.480 --> 01:33:05.750
be insulted so badly. Bobby, before you


01:33:05.760 --> 01:33:07.750
go, no insult for me. I know you want to


01:33:07.760 --> 01:33:10.070
say some [ __ ] about me. You're going to


01:33:10.080 --> 01:33:12.229
wait till you go home to insult me.


01:33:12.239 --> 01:33:15.430
Insult me in private. That [ __ ]


01:33:15.440 --> 01:33:18.229
Okay, that's fine. Thank you. I love all


01:33:18.239 --> 01:33:20.950
of you. Thank you very much. Enjoy the


01:33:20.960 --> 01:33:24.149
show. Insult people. It's wonderful.


01:33:24.159 --> 01:33:28.320
Pick a topic. Goodbye.